tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37350955252245788112024-03-05T07:25:56.859-05:00Hockeytown StaticT/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.comBlogger222125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-73916056359076270262011-05-04T14:29:00.003-04:002011-05-04T15:00:04.341-04:00WTF WednesdayI'll be honest, so far the playoffs have felt like a bad case of deja vu. A really bad case. Not like the kind where you think you can predict the future for twenty seconds, but the kind where you wake up and it's still Groundhog Day. I haven't wanted to write about them. I haven't really wanted to read about them on other blogs.<br /><br />The Wings have done their best this season when they've been cornered, so I'm still remaining hopeful for tonight's game and the entire series, but even if the team pulls out some kind of spectacular concerted awesomeness, our best case scenario still leaves the Wings down 2-1 in the series. That's pretty pukey.<br /><br />Last year I routed a little of my misery into <a href="http://hockeytownstatic.blogspot.com/2010/05/as-wtf-as-we-can-get-this-week-joe.html">pointing and laughing at the utter ridiculousness that is the San Jose Sharks</a>, and a few of you seemed to appreciate it. So in the hope that laughter will provide catharsis again, I give you the Sharks Christmas Album:<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HJW7Spwd9rg" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="349"></iframe><br /><br />Joe Thornton. How can you dance that bad? How is that possible?T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-15634949386631932762011-04-13T13:58:00.004-04:002011-04-13T15:53:06.694-04:00We're still backIf you pay attention to this blog at all, you may have noticed that it's been hit with a bad case of writer's block. I wanted to break out of this by coming up with a totally awesome first round playoff preview, but then I realized the Wings were playing the Coyotes in the first round again, and I'd already put six hours into <a href="http://hockeytownstatic.blogspot.com/2010/04/1st-round-playoff-preview-as-promised.html">doing that once before</a>, and really, <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> did not want to do it again.<br /><br />So in these last few hours before opening faceoff, while you're boiling your octopi, setting up your shrines, and preparing your voodoo effigies of Shane Doan and Keith Yandle, I'll say a little something about playoff superstitions.<br /><br />One of my favorite stories in the realm of hockey lore is that when Red Kelly was coaching the Maple Leafs in 1976, he used <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramid_power">Pyramid Power</a> to try to help them get through the playoffs.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMw2lyWnVB73bC_8fn7oK8v9C3t1ecRsl6jiuGCDAWmKuNJeKF0aVNlMOle7v0PW9zwAV8p30wkzIVy5BZtQsofgA3xAHfKdKZTR760yQOt6p9EU9uKEVncLfnC2xqh9iEUUcPCylZ5U/s1600/RedKelly.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMw2lyWnVB73bC_8fn7oK8v9C3t1ecRsl6jiuGCDAWmKuNJeKF0aVNlMOle7v0PW9zwAV8p30wkzIVy5BZtQsofgA3xAHfKdKZTR760yQOt6p9EU9uKEVncLfnC2xqh9iEUUcPCylZ5U/s400/RedKelly.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595144208419213714" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">yeah, seriously, he did this<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>He had pyramids underneath the bench during games. He had one in the locker room that Darryl Sittler (also a <a href="http://www.legendsofhockey.net/html/spot_oneononep198902.htm">proponent of lucky ties</a>) kept his sticks under. It only got the team to game 7 in the second round, and it was probably more the distraction of the gimmick than actual ancient Egyptian metaphysics that the Leafs were benefiting from, but at least it helped distract them from then-owner <a href="http://proicehockey.about.com/od/history/a/harold_ballard.htm">Harold Ballard and his craziness</a>.<br /><br />Plus, I've done some way weirder stuff than Pyramid Power to appease the hockey gods. Things involving magical sunglasses and hockey cards in my freezer.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></div></div>Fan culture is a weird thing, and it makes people <span style="font-style: italic;">do</span> weird things. Rationally, I know that changing my clothes in the middle of a hockey game taking place on the other side of the country is really unlikely to have any effect on the game itself, but I keep the lucky shirt on anyway. Why? Because then if they win, I can feel like I was part of it. If they lose, I can absolve myself of any blame; I did everything I could. And at a time when my fragile emotional state is being controlled by people I never met and the unpredictable bounce of a three-ounce chunk of vulcanized rubber, it tricks my brain into thinking I have some kind of control over the situation so I don't completely lose my mind and end up in an institution.<br /><br />Also, my lucky shirt's got a record of like 12-3-4 this season, so it might actually be lucky.<br /><br />Although, right now I'm weighing it's perceived luckiness against how much I don't want to get vomit all over it when I spend the entire game puking.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-25448348765559174192011-03-09T23:05:00.002-05:002011-03-09T23:38:01.460-05:00Hey, we're backWe know we've been gone for what it internet time accounts for something like four years. I'm sure you all felt the void in your hearts, even if you didn't know what it was. That empty feeling you've had for the last month and a half? That's you not being exposed to bad music or MS Paint jobs.<br /><br />No, we're kidding. it took our own mother until three days ago to realize we'd been gone; we can only imagine how little the rest of the internet cares. We plan to continue throwing bad music and MS Paints at you regardless.<br /><br />Today's loss against the Kings was especially painful after Saturday's loss against the Coyotes. It highlighted a lot of the issues that, had this blog been writing about the Red Wings over the last few weeks, would have been touched on in this blog over the last few weeks - the defense has been a little shaky lately (Ericsson's the second-best statistically right now - and no, Lidstrom's not the guy ahead of him), the offense hasn't been producing like it needs to be, and the goaltending's been... well, at least we have Jimmy. <br /><br />Granted, to miss the playoffs at this point, the whole team would pretty much have to stage a protest and just sit down on the ice and start playing Hungry Hungry Hippos for the rest of the season, but still. The Wings need to get it in gear. They've got a week of games against the Blackhawks next month, followed by god only knows what in the playoffs. Sadness, if they go in playing like this.<br /><br />I don't know if there's anything I can do to ease any of the pain of tonight's loss - even though it's technically Wednesday, the best wtf-ery I have pertaining to the Kings is Anze Kopitar's baby pictures.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9GfggsR6SEVZSk3dzP_slt2GYbghl8fvMM4fAxFy4w2CcYSqjqOeH9csjPT4BFKot0pagoZ5LJIln-xcKD27z5sBzG49NY8X2A4lSot3HHrd2_D-UggrWn9moB113_3khrQnl3wQzN8M/s1600/ytxjovymp0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 313px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9GfggsR6SEVZSk3dzP_slt2GYbghl8fvMM4fAxFy4w2CcYSqjqOeH9csjPT4BFKot0pagoZ5LJIln-xcKD27z5sBzG49NY8X2A4lSot3HHrd2_D-UggrWn9moB113_3khrQnl3wQzN8M/s400/ytxjovymp0.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582299902038091314" border="0" /></a><br />But all these seem to do for me is lead into an unfortunate paradox. Nothing this adorable should be allowed to score on the Red Wings, end of story.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxUXjz_NSAG87TantfUzNa08uZsW63iR2QSZstgpPbwT4FOKUMHjgdbXwFWPK-WSI5m8YmbOkIpQABojmh3YM5aoQTVVeAXgVJzJnMvn8Ek3LCGs1YF2upl50opSIVY-eJDEmy9oIfVxw/s1600/2g6rh5aqqs.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 316px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxUXjz_NSAG87TantfUzNa08uZsW63iR2QSZstgpPbwT4FOKUMHjgdbXwFWPK-WSI5m8YmbOkIpQABojmh3YM5aoQTVVeAXgVJzJnMvn8Ek3LCGs1YF2upl50opSIVY-eJDEmy9oIfVxw/s400/2g6rh5aqqs.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582299864164066562" border="0" /></a><br />I didn't lead into the post with the promise of pantsless pictures of Slovenians, but maybe I should have. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnCk3obklb6TTy5RGwVlQ1HPK55s8Z_LHHXjWPirv4eBv13inb0DWBvAJbJ4boHexXiYGFI9mT5nCTF3S8SHSKQNRbHMTRIutC9VdoHxUje85F-m6vsm3uKy70teE9tISMIcpa27px9rs/s1600/838fbhsl00.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnCk3obklb6TTy5RGwVlQ1HPK55s8Z_LHHXjWPirv4eBv13inb0DWBvAJbJ4boHexXiYGFI9mT5nCTF3S8SHSKQNRbHMTRIutC9VdoHxUje85F-m6vsm3uKy70teE9tISMIcpa27px9rs/s400/838fbhsl00.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582299889542478610" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">What kind of animal is that rug made from???</span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktDyBOskrY94scbMffU3YSPqKpf7bU6cdDmOXJHKPyCybf3wpHxO-arZ0JmoBZu-zbKLS0Q7ehMu8TiF88oqq3uXjLgF5K1ckOn0QM_SHqs_4qbqHJRgoFXoppfb2QFFces0yFyTmysM/s1600/44gjpi292c.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 315px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktDyBOskrY94scbMffU3YSPqKpf7bU6cdDmOXJHKPyCybf3wpHxO-arZ0JmoBZu-zbKLS0Q7ehMu8TiF88oqq3uXjLgF5K1ckOn0QM_SHqs_4qbqHJRgoFXoppfb2QFFces0yFyTmysM/s400/44gjpi292c.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582299882155761154" border="0" /></a>T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-82656982091549422962011-01-17T21:44:00.005-05:002011-01-17T23:19:59.803-05:00The Red WingAs follow-up to last week's WTF Wednesday, here's the Red Wings portion of the Guardian Project:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYVHzYs42BbDeQl9t5urnbF1x1B9JLSa_Kdmm0w0zwjHs-jgfjtpLM3VZ2jQv1rCbTdw6eVaQuM36qnRjEn2A0mF79DbnUXhdppWu9KHv1PH75oatLEOj55u9Wsz8zVe4kLkatVEzdTA/s1600/011711WingsGuardianLarge.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 328px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYVHzYs42BbDeQl9t5urnbF1x1B9JLSa_Kdmm0w0zwjHs-jgfjtpLM3VZ2jQv1rCbTdw6eVaQuM36qnRjEn2A0mF79DbnUXhdppWu9KHv1PH75oatLEOj55u9Wsz8zVe4kLkatVEzdTA/s400/011711WingsGuardianLarge.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563351575687715330" border="0" /></a>While he was already being called an affront to the holy institution of the Winged Wheel an hour before he was posted to the Guardian Project facebook page, I have to say that, considering what we've already seen, he could have been worse. I mean, granted, it seems a little superfluous that he have jet engines, legs, and some kind of knee-mounted, pop-and-lock Segway device, but I'm hearing from some sources that he also shoots lasers, which I guess is kind of cool. "Automotive empath" makes it sound like he can read cars' minds, which I'm hoping is accomplished by doing some Vulcan mind meld-like hand movements and a lot of grunting, because that would be hilarious.<br /><br />Here he is in action:<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wjS3iRvu6vw" width="640" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br /><br />... sort of.<br /><br />I'm having a problem here though. What are they going to do with them? There's 30 of them altogether. That's a lot of character development (though not enough character development to keep them from ALL BEING SOME KIND OF PSYCHIC) to have a one-shot publicity dump at the All-Star game (which we all know is always watched by all hockey fans (I need a font to denote sarcasm.)) and then just drop them completely. And 30 characters seems like an awful lot of character interaction for a comic book. I'm worried the NHL is going to be using them in some weird official capacity, but for what, I can't say.<br /><br />I don't know. Some news brief might have already covered this, but the internet is no longer dial-up compatible, and I can't run to a coffee shop every time I want to spend five minutes googling something at two in the morning, so for now this blog can only speculate.<br /><br />At any rate, Segway-Starscream-Speed Racer up there is definitely not the weirdest thing to have worn the winged wheel.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-474m7NyK_PwwjiIB5H8cuxxtqOWOrz58f0Wr_XvjtP9fJ7NsybC4FM95Unax2kFACGHV51iNzDa6iEG7ze1b28xJW7uMZQUE1t9ybCJdLn2qVqwS-Nt_WPeUobl2gvARuojoWR_20Qs/s1600/hasek16.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-474m7NyK_PwwjiIB5H8cuxxtqOWOrz58f0Wr_XvjtP9fJ7NsybC4FM95Unax2kFACGHV51iNzDa6iEG7ze1b28xJW7uMZQUE1t9ybCJdLn2qVqwS-Nt_WPeUobl2gvARuojoWR_20Qs/s400/hasek16.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563373721303980306" border="0" /></a>No, not by far.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-17339850156630761332011-01-12T16:13:00.005-05:002011-01-12T23:18:10.175-05:00WTF WednesdayAs you all probably know by now, the NHL is going <a href="http://www.guardianproject30.com/">comical</a>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.canadacardworldblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/guardian_project_canadacardworld.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 720px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 582px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.canadacardworldblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/guardian_project_canadacardworld.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Now when I first heard of this, my concern was what they would concoct for the Red Wings. My mind immediately went to an image of an old man who can fly, is a Transformer, and has a pistol that shoots Little Caesar's Pizza.<br /><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKtFDQhiDravBEjYlAErpvz3RGEC_vn8Xe2JbGndELoLrT1ZiqoKm6TRlijy-gYyPpHkcQh_f8rgTTFnOeBF_tFyoGM8_u4D7Iz48qIVm44NmaIhOYMTGvaXUZts7XHKGhUG2BlZDHkZg/s1600/optimus+ted.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561511909139492018" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 327px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKtFDQhiDravBEjYlAErpvz3RGEC_vn8Xe2JbGndELoLrT1ZiqoKm6TRlijy-gYyPpHkcQh_f8rgTTFnOeBF_tFyoGM8_u4D7Iz48qIVm44NmaIhOYMTGvaXUZts7XHKGhUG2BlZDHkZg/s400/optimus+ted.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">I would buy this action figure in a heartbeat.<br /><br /></span></div>Now those of you who have naive, optimistic minds might be thinking this is crazy talk - that certainly the great Stan Lee, the father of the entire Marvel Comics franchise would be able to put together a character creation team that could come up with 30 unique, original, and non-crazy ideas. And if you want to keep thinking that, you should exit this blog immediately, because after seeing the ridiculousness that they came up with for the teams released so far, I think old Optimus Ted up there is going to hit well below the WTF-ery mark that Marvel is about to set.<br /><br />So far 12 of the 30 superheroes have been revealed and they... well, you really just have to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Guardian-Project/156199747751632?v=app_123121171084181">see them for yourselves</a>.<br /><br />The King looks prissy and like he would cry if he broke a nail (maybe it's the ponytail). The Oiler is clearly on steroids. The Hurricane looks like <a href="http://images.wikia.com/disney/images/b/b2/Snapshot20051121124726.jpg">Genie Jafar</a>, and I'm pretty sure that The Devil is just a horse. And they really spared no expense when inventing the Guardian's powers. Nothing says superhero like The Predator's "matter ingestion" or The Wild's "general mayhem" (I've got a two year old cousin who does both of those quite well).<br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><span style="font-family:georgia;">My favorite so far is The Flyer</span>:<br /></div><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.nhlsnipers.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/original.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 585px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 479px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.nhlsnipers.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/original.jpg" border="0" /></a></span><br /></div>A "granite chin"? Ok, I know what they mean by that, but I'm still getting the mental image of Bobby Clarke's head being used as a curling stone. (And sorry, no - you're not getting an MS Paint of that. I have to have this posted before midnight.)<br /><br />This assessment of the project sounds a little scathing, I know, but there is honestly nothing this blog loves more than something hockey related that's so crazy it makes you question the laws of the universe.<br /><br />It looks like the Guardian Project is going to answer all Hockeytown Static's secret wtf hopes and dreams.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-84261596153404536902011-01-05T23:47:00.000-05:002011-01-06T01:11:55.624-05:00CrosvechkinOne thing that everyone learns about me pretty quickly once the conversation has breached the subject of hockey is that one of the things I hate the most about he NHL is the Gary Bettman-fueled three-ring circus extravaganza of Crosby/Ovechkin. Not the players themselves, but the Gary Bettman-fueled three-ring circus. I've gone so far as to personify this media-entity as a living thing and have written numerous letters to my representatives in Congress asking why Crosvechkin has yet to be put on the list of known terrorists to be hunted down and shot.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb4ml6elhwi0skgIKt1lVKLiVaUNdJRNsttnQVk9CF6QsnOpTdIFeZxUsnIeSrMdgH2YF62DEV7GC6exk-23XUb_7LG9UHlZ6WEk1lyEBS4Uyr4S2JE6Fit4IQA29c_ushbt77F2zfwNo/s1600/crosvechkin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb4ml6elhwi0skgIKt1lVKLiVaUNdJRNsttnQVk9CF6QsnOpTdIFeZxUsnIeSrMdgH2YF62DEV7GC6exk-23XUb_7LG9UHlZ6WEk1lyEBS4Uyr4S2JE6Fit4IQA29c_ushbt77F2zfwNo/s400/crosvechkin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558565413681371570" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">oh god what have i done<br /></span></div><br />But there's a reason I like to pay attention to the Winter Classic (and not just because I secretly think having a game outside is awesome enough to counteract my distaste toward any team that might be playing (even Crosvechkin)) - it's because the game itself seems to have fallen under some sort of gypsy curse. I'm not talking about the weather or the ice conditions (which, admittedly, have been hilarious), I'm talking about this:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGVfSkuRvEEqsH0bd5wpdxE1HnaJQ9Pcq2QqG_7YodrEineKsM55Wcm8Aje5QfftLiK4UDvaLVlM-lYSxw7osfwgx1rEz1J9qlqM5xajJkxOJ_poDYkjGGXWx_RlJyqhKZ-i0dGiqnbGI/s1600/crosby.celebrates.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 235px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGVfSkuRvEEqsH0bd5wpdxE1HnaJQ9Pcq2QqG_7YodrEineKsM55Wcm8Aje5QfftLiK4UDvaLVlM-lYSxw7osfwgx1rEz1J9qlqM5xajJkxOJ_poDYkjGGXWx_RlJyqhKZ-i0dGiqnbGI/s400/crosby.celebrates.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558564745249189202" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;">Lost in the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic306EYGtcuJvD5jgiyVylhoH7hal6YKgHq_S0iN2UxQyxEX5Bc2UuCvCu2DBKYvtYR4aBIAHLzEciy7L4g7WpwQNIpTL2dRKeHm0EfWxTVg_x04_fZEXUTyPqHGpXcJtoHrP_xGov5Dw/s1600/GYI0056420259010119_1024x768.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic306EYGtcuJvD5jgiyVylhoH7hal6YKgHq_S0iN2UxQyxEX5Bc2UuCvCu2DBKYvtYR4aBIAHLzEciy7L4g7WpwQNIpTL2dRKeHm0EfWxTVg_x04_fZEXUTyPqHGpXcJtoHrP_xGov5Dw/s400/GYI0056420259010119_1024x768.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558564751199231090" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;">Lost in the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals<br /></span></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8xJfPS7uIBPkk7aHLr5E7Ve44hlHX1iFVmD5VvJHWCZ9BUrbfpD5CO5rI-45ds48PQo7_KRERsueakOfHUZ8lwnzi-_LkOVu095vv7dbSUroGXv0vQ9JvkXHZfIo7Q4ppQzH8b04pNrI/s1600/Bridgestone%252BWinter%252BClassic%252BPhiladelphia%252BFlyers%252B6-e28VS_K15l.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 338px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8xJfPS7uIBPkk7aHLr5E7Ve44hlHX1iFVmD5VvJHWCZ9BUrbfpD5CO5rI-45ds48PQo7_KRERsueakOfHUZ8lwnzi-_LkOVu095vv7dbSUroGXv0vQ9JvkXHZfIo7Q4ppQzH8b04pNrI/s400/Bridgestone%252BWinter%252BClassic%252BPhiladelphia%252BFlyers%252B6-e28VS_K15l.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558564746039292610" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;">Lost in the 2010 Stanley Cup Finals<br /><br /></span></div>So since both the Capitals and the Penguins are eastern conference teams, that leaves things wide open for a western conference candidate.<br /><br />And I don't want to jinx anything, but the last two years have seen a prior Winter Classic participant be the one to carry out the curse on that year's team in the finals. <br /><br />Now, could all this superstitious what-have-you simply be the result of the NHL just being good at choosing teams to participate in the Winter Classic, teams that are good enough to make it to the conference finals and beyond for a couple years surrounding their outdoor game debut?<br /><br />Yes. But I have nothing of merit to say about the last three games the Wings played, and frankly just wanted to have an excuse to post Crosvechkin, which I worked on in MS Paint for three straight days.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-47911116737170428402010-12-29T23:01:00.005-05:002010-12-29T23:46:04.588-05:00HATTRICK EAVES!!!This is the first time you've seen a post on this blog within six hours of a game since... probably since Trisha got out of college. There are two reasons for this:<br /><br />1. This game was a circus festival of awesomosity.<ul><li>Patrick Eaves scored a freaking hat trick. I was pretty much expecting him to get the puck on his stick three feet from the empty net, with no one between him and it but air, and then go diving into the corner, but I'm glad he didn't. CURLY. FRIES.</li><li>Babcock dropped the f-bomb on camera. Loud enough for the audio to pick it up. </li><li>The Wings are now the top of the league. Where they should be.<br /></li></ul><br />2. I was already on the internet. This might be something some of you take for granted, but in our house, we have a dial-up connection, and we only have it on one computer. We have to schedule in a good five or ten minutes just to sign on and get our own blog loaded. And I don't normally go online during hockey games at home.<br /><br />But today, there was something funky going on with the feed or the cameras - it looked like we were watching the game with frames missing. The game was back and forth enough that it was starting to make me ill, so instead of watching the Red Wings score seven goals, I listened to them doing it while I trolled auction sites for old pictures. Which means that not only do we have this timely (though short) post, but also the WHL trading card gallery of Horrible Hair:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPhQJclf6pbc2y77zfZeMEoz_DNUZdyko1IGMm7_nNRfU6VqAyeNqnJZlhdpTV-EHrzmVMuTwqJoLNnuPl3YOD7bv6K7r78f1Su8JfPUwwCEj7A98qULQWUE-pOUWkAu_auVija-_z8c/s1600/ghjgh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 285px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPhQJclf6pbc2y77zfZeMEoz_DNUZdyko1IGMm7_nNRfU6VqAyeNqnJZlhdpTV-EHrzmVMuTwqJoLNnuPl3YOD7bv6K7r78f1Su8JfPUwwCEj7A98qULQWUE-pOUWkAu_auVija-_z8c/s400/ghjgh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556325615818606290" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwauafJ4NBD1IVLBi-VThlysR0OtMRIj6-GC7qEUQAPaFj5Dg2aN-jhv5C4UfYN6zYVe-ChpwrniH5Nl8sNtpBtReFToeNSf2w-vMjodzOInIZ7wy_HjUZ783IdNcEQBD72shu0hS0oGo/s1600/jkhg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 281px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwauafJ4NBD1IVLBi-VThlysR0OtMRIj6-GC7qEUQAPaFj5Dg2aN-jhv5C4UfYN6zYVe-ChpwrniH5Nl8sNtpBtReFToeNSf2w-vMjodzOInIZ7wy_HjUZ783IdNcEQBD72shu0hS0oGo/s400/jkhg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556326714790509826" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Happy Wednesday.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;">So this has not only been a really great night for me personally, but also a highly productive one. <br /></div></div>T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-84512547559167157082010-12-24T00:37:00.006-05:002010-12-24T01:50:59.366-05:00The Greatest Hockey Music Ever - Part VI love Chris Osgood, so we're not discussing tonight's game right now. Instead, here's a little bit of holiday cheer for you to annoy your relatives with. It also happens to be one of my favorite Christmas songs. What that says about me... I'm not sure.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi99BCFIN6CAhvUxutt8EqKSsJpmQDw7xG1Kk_xTxkr4tSEOgsRkHz7rTm_1LdUVJKFg80F8j6JvHC0dvJ0t54CyN0q9SGdASwuych_MMSfJmOopF9SnBv_dYcl_jMy9QLOlSGnxN2vFpA/s1600/bowerxmas.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 354px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi99BCFIN6CAhvUxutt8EqKSsJpmQDw7xG1Kk_xTxkr4tSEOgsRkHz7rTm_1LdUVJKFg80F8j6JvHC0dvJ0t54CyN0q9SGdASwuych_MMSfJmOopF9SnBv_dYcl_jMy9QLOlSGnxN2vFpA/s400/bowerxmas.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5554119810482563666" border="0" /></a> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Johnny Bower is a certified badass.<span style=""> </span>He won four Stanley Cups, two Vezina trophies, played all but a scant handful of his 552 games maskless, and when he was in high school, he successfully lied about his age to go overseas and start shooting Nazis.<span style=""> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjws4RM_ome_I0ttJVVC_wCpUSYS6kjdv9YujVSiBzNZckPdWuaAD4ui9WGOJcwfosxV74Z9GgRFK1GnLJz7XIEPZ82DRGOP6kivruyUHlXi8B5gDs_rgd-G3vCiMQOWXA7YHZO4KEH4FM/s1600/johnny+bower%252C+certified+badass.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 258px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjws4RM_ome_I0ttJVVC_wCpUSYS6kjdv9YujVSiBzNZckPdWuaAD4ui9WGOJcwfosxV74Z9GgRFK1GnLJz7XIEPZ82DRGOP6kivruyUHlXi8B5gDs_rgd-G3vCiMQOWXA7YHZO4KEH4FM/s400/johnny+bower%252C+certified+badass.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5554120013275970178" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"> <span style="font-style: italic;">No, really, I'm still young enough to serve...<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">He will always be cooler than you are.<span style=""> </span>Only adding to this fact is his 1965 #29 hit on the Canadian charts:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxPxA-sb7HA">Honky the Christmas Goose</a>.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Recorded by Bower, his son “Little John”, and a choir of children (The Rinky-Dinks), this might just be the single greatest Christmas song in existence.<span style=""> </span>The song tells the harrowing personal journey of Honky, who “got so fat that he was no use” (it never says how.<span style=""> </span>Maybe he was a farm goose being fattened up for holiday dinner.<span style=""> </span>This is already uplifting).<span style=""> 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mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><s>the townsfolk roast and eat him with cranberry sauce and a walnut dressing</s> Santa Claus rescues him because Rudolf is a useless, cross-eyed idiot who keeps running into Boeing jets.</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Rudolph-Red-Nosed-Reindeer-007.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 470px; height: 318px;" src="http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Rudolph-Red-Nosed-Reindeer-007.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">HUR DUR...</span></p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I like this song because it shows us how fat people, like Honky and Santa Claus, can still contribute to society.<span style=""> </span>So don’t worry about all that Christmas pie you’re eating, kids.<span style=""> </span>Johnny Bower says it’s ok to be a porker.</p><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYFJ2hFMGkLs0Mu1l0nxlpJ2EKOazoM4NyViwaGOGKEmMFY7W8JVt4PE5E8Lb5Do-Cnm4eryEIw4-2eeYFdwAQs2Gl69pbEs5u9IzW0w4EBI1LY3EQHy4OrEh-5bdhOJrHDvAOF65KhNo/s1600/legendsgolf_bower_090710_slide.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 367px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYFJ2hFMGkLs0Mu1l0nxlpJ2EKOazoM4NyViwaGOGKEmMFY7W8JVt4PE5E8Lb5Do-Cnm4eryEIw4-2eeYFdwAQs2Gl69pbEs5u9IzW0w4EBI1LY3EQHy4OrEh-5bdhOJrHDvAOF65KhNo/s400/legendsgolf_bower_090710_slide.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5554121539071153650" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">And he knows how to get the ladies<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;">Should you now wish to translate your new favorite song into a last-minute holiday gift, <a href="http://www.sportsoffame.com/status/johnny-bower/cd-dvd-leatherette-folio/">this site</a> sells CD cases.<br /><br />A Johnny Bower CD comes with the purchase of the case, but you're not actually ordering the CD. You're just ordering the case.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div></div>T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-13571167484934000072010-12-18T00:03:00.003-05:002010-12-18T00:53:23.606-05:00Stay classy, ChicagoThe Wings won a game and it was awesome, and then they lost tonight's game and it was gross. I've got something more important to write about.<br /><br />I can understand, and maybe even accept the "Detroit sucks" chants. That particular phrase has a long history of being chanted by the fans of the Wings' biggest rivals, and if I'm going to get all up in arms about it tonight, I'll have to write out retroactive diatribes on a quarter of the teams in the league.<br /><br />What I'm upset about is what they did to Chelios.<br /><br />He put on a Blackhawks jersey, stood up on a Blackhawks ice, in front of God and everybody, professing his Chicago-ness and his love for his hometown team, the team he spent nearly a decade with, and they booed him.<br /><br />He was expecting it. He was planning for it. He said "let's let bygones be bygones" and waited for it to stop. It kept on. It got louder.<br /><br />I joke a lot about Chicago fans being unclassy jerks, but I didn't think this was very funny. This went beyond unclassy. I'd actually like to hear what Mickey Redmond was saying about it off-camera, but Redmond's a gentleman and I'm a girl, so I doubt I'd get to hear it from him anyway.<br /><br /><br />What basis do I have to say this was unclassy? Let's take a look at what classy looks like:<br /><br /><ul><li>Last November, Lindsay and I were at a Wings game right in the middle of the vomitrocious stretch of three games (two back to back at home) where Detroit was held scoreless. Joe Louis Arena was hosting the Atlanta Thrashers. The crowd was silent when Slava Kozlov scored, but when Budd Lynch announced the goal over the loudspeaker, we clapped for him, because he was one of ours.</li><li>I don't actually remember whether Wings fans booed Marian Hossa for going to the Blackhawks last season, but I don't remember them doing it. What I do remember was a thread on message board about whether booing was or was not appropriate in that situation, and the posters who yelled at the pro-booing individuals for unclassiness.</li><li>Remember Bob Probert? He didn't end his career with Detroit. In fact, he spend quite a few years throwing punches as a member of the Chicago Blackhawks. But after he retired, if someone at Joe Louis Arena had tried to boo him? The guy next to him would have knocked his lights out. So probably would have Probert.</li><li>This a a hockey blog, so I don't know how many of you even care about basketball, but there's some crossover with the Wings and Pistons fanbases, so I'm counting this as relevant for the sake of this argument. Chauncey Billups of the Detroit Pistons was traded to another team. His first game back at the Palace? The fans gave him a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLEEIyUlJ_U">lengthy standing ovation.</a></li></ul>We weren't all butterflies and roses to Fedorov the first few times he skated on Detroit ice someone else's jersey, but now I want him to come back for a ceremony at the Joe so the crowd can not boo him and I can add him to this list.<br /><br />This isn't even about Wings fans being un-realistically classy. Trevor Linden was the heart and soul of the Vncouver Cnaucks; he wore the C, he gave them his best, and then he left. Vanouver didn't boo him in an Islanders jersey. They held up signs saying "Always a Canuck", and "Captain in our hearts". Earlier this season, when Modano, as a Red Wing,went back out on Dallas ice, the fans (and this is a crowd that at the end of the 2008 western conference finals chanted "Let's go Penguins" as the Red Wings awaited the presentation of the Campbell Bowl) didn't boo him. He was the heart and soul of the Dallas Stars, he wore the C, and the fans gave him the cheers he deserved.<br /><br />Well, Chelios was the heart and soul of the Chicago Blackhawks. He was a hometown boy, one of their own, a fan of the team growing up, and he gave them the best years of his career. The Chicago River flows backwards through his veins. If you cut him, he'd bleed vaguely racist feathers and deep dish pizza (and then you'd be bleeding for making him bleed his own blood). But Chicago didn't care about that tonight -- they seemed much more interested in hurrying things along to screaming through the national anthem and singing the chorus of Chelsea Dagger on perpetual repeat. Chicago didn't care that he was out there on their ice, wearing their sweater, trying to talk about what an honor it was to have played for their organization -- he had been a Red Wing once, and I guess for them hating another team is more important than caring about your own.<br /><br />By the third period. there were some fans in attendance attempting to turn the tide of the chanting from "Detroit Sucks' to Let's go Hawks"resulting in what sounded like "We Want Socks" (which everyone in my household found incredibly humorous). If those were the real fans, the ones who recognize what Chelios gave their organization and appreciated him for it, then my heart goes out to them. Maybe someday their compatriots will realize that there's more to being a Blackhawks fan than hating the Red Wings.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-55877093654330660812010-12-13T02:14:00.000-05:002010-12-14T12:18:04.542-05:00Loopholes, awesomness, and a little hockey karmaFirst of all, for the benefit of Lindsay, who I know won't stop pestering me about this until we're in our fifties unless I clear it up right away - when I said I'd write something about every game, I never said how soon after the game the writing would come. At any rate, I have a solid excuse for yesterday - the power went out due to a snow storm, and I spent most of the evening reading comic books by kerosene lamp (no joke - my dad collects them. Our house is brighter during blackouts than any other situation). So here's my make-up work:<br /><br /><br />To say that I wasn't expecting that game against Montreal would be the truth. It was preceded by a full hour of black and white footage breaking down a rivalry that had already been running full steam a good 300 years before the dinosaurs were water-skiing behind Noah's Ark.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3G4HC4veOCTxxvrH4apzqWcK5YPIDJVfLzE24XBZkUF2qadeMKTQ7wyHv3Y9TuFS2XGBgbXdCUD-WT5sECXZTWDxNcqRbPgxzGPihacif6vw3pZX-X2KDcCPS_9rEtwZit2zQb8kVmU/s1600/ted1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 381px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3G4HC4veOCTxxvrH4apzqWcK5YPIDJVfLzE24XBZkUF2qadeMKTQ7wyHv3Y9TuFS2XGBgbXdCUD-WT5sECXZTWDxNcqRbPgxzGPihacif6vw3pZX-X2KDcCPS_9rEtwZit2zQb8kVmU/s400/ted1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550409983952223074" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Ted Lindsay angry. TED LINDSAY SMASH!<br /></span></div><br />Is it telling of what time and separate conferences do to a rivalry that they had to go back to the pre-color days to get most of their footage? Probably. But that's sort of beside the point. CBC had this game so hyped up that they pushed Hockey Night In Canada ahead one day to give it national coverage. It seemed just about the perfect opportunity for the Wings to all eat giant, steaming bowls of stupid that morning and herp derp their way through another abysmal loss. They didn't. They won, and it was awesome.<br /><br />So I was expecting some sort of karmic retribution on Saturday against the Devils - because the day before had been so awesome, because Chris Osgood was in net and there are clearly otherworldly forces conspiring against his surpassing 400 career wins, because I've trained myself to consistently expect the worst - but the worst thing that happened all night was that every goal and fight in the game happened while I was out of the room. Well actually I guess the worst things that happened all night happened to the Devils.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/05LubBt4eo7re/x500.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 427px; height: 500px;" src="http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/05LubBt4eo7re/x500.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">It's a reassuring thought, Santa<br /><br /></span></div><br />And then the Kings were in Detroit this evening.<br /><br />With about sixteen left to play in the third, I wondered whether it would make me a bad Wings fan to abandon my television before the game was over to take a shower, but then I decided that personal hygiene is more important than subjecting myself to needless pain, and anyway, as Lindsay was quick to remind me, the game had been over since the middle of the second period.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://multimedia.detnews.com/pix/c7/8c/77/4f/48/9d/20101213232949_2010-1213-dg-wings1011.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 640px; height: 401px;" src="http://multimedia.detnews.com/pix/c7/8c/77/4f/48/9d/20101213232949_2010-1213-dg-wings1011.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">If I had a dollar for of every picture I've saved of Brad Stuart and Jimmy Howard lying side by side, watching their tears freeze to the ice, I'd have enough to go out and buy a nice-looking scrapbook to keep them in.<br /></span></div><br />This is the part where to make myself feel better about my team having lost, I usually post something like Jack Johnson playing baseball with Sidney Crosby, or Anze Kopitar's naked baby pictures, but my heart's not really in it tonight, which I think has less to do with bitterness over the loss and more to do with the fact that I'm falling asleep at my keyboard right now. Oh well. Maybe next game.<br /><br />Go Wings.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-90306821286477538112010-12-09T12:00:00.004-05:002010-12-09T16:09:18.768-05:00"WTF Thursday" just doesn't have the same ring to itOk, nobody can blame me if I don't want to write about last night's game. I wouldn't blame anyone if they didn't want to read about it.<br /><br />I don't know why I'm surprised every time the Red Wings have a miserable night against the Nashville Predators - it happens nearly every time, even when they eventually come out on top. I guess in some respects I should cut my losses - I didn't have to sit through two and a half periods with the game tied at zero, and, to my knowledge, none of the Red Wings skated off with a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXES-Pi-GZs">concussion</a> that's going to last a <span style="font-style: italic;">year</span>.<br /><br />Uh, did I sort of promise a Nashville-themed WTF Wednesday and then totally not deliver?<br /><br />I wish I could bring you something awesome to make up for that (and maybe some of you will find this way more awesomely wtf than I do - I've been hoarding so much hockey-related strangeness on my hard drive the last few years that I'm starting to get a warped view of what's weird and what's actually normal), but all I have is a reader-provided <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsQS2EdH0z4">youtube of Taylor Swift</a> plugging the team (even though we've got some sketchy evidence that she might actually <a href="http://cdn.nhl.com/penguins/images/upload/2009/10/Pens-Swift3.jpg">back the Penguins</a>) and this poorly done tattoo:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_nhl_experts__76/ept_sports_nhl_experts-544386758-1287167731.jpg?ymzLj7DDD5lk5zZv"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 576px; height: 405px;" src="http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_nhl_experts__76/ept_sports_nhl_experts-544386758-1287167731.jpg?ymzLj7DDD5lk5zZv" alt="" border="0" /></a>This should slightly upset me as a Red Wings fan, but instead I'm just laughing<br /><br /></div><br />Maybe I'd have more if I had the tolerance to research them better, but every time I think about that team, all my brain screams is "vomit vomit train whistles".T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-7505825648446335272010-12-06T22:28:00.006-05:002010-12-07T00:23:49.786-05:00That was unpleasantThis blog has gotten some serious writer's block. Take a look at the difference between the post count from 2009 and what we're at so far in 2010, and you'll understand what I mean. As someone who managed to trick a college into letting her actually graduate with a writing degree, I know that the best cure for writer's block is <s>copious amounts of alcohol, lack of sleep, and unlimited high speed internet</s> writing through it even when you have nothing whatsoever to say, which is why for the next two weeks, I'm saying something about every game the Red Wings play, even if it's just three sentences about how [insert team name here] makes me want to throw my fist through a wall.<br /><br />And judging how stress levels at my new job have been, there's going to be a lot of that.<br /><br />I can't say I don't wish the Wings would have won that game, but maybe they need to lose a couple every once in a while to remind them to play a full 60 minutes, and I have to say that it's really, <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> nice after last season for a regulation loss to be a relatively rare occurrence.<br /><br />I still don't know what was going on with Bertuzzi's no-goal, but whatever. I'm pretty sure I had my eyes closed for that entire replay, because I didn't see any reason to blow the whistle, and last I checked, refs weren't allowed to just arbitrarily stop play. Maybe he had a wedgie in his <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QQQ6MqtcE30/SwY3_vqYHdI/AAAAAAAAATc/pY231hlLTRk/s400/The+Triple+Deke+Tights.bmp">Toasty Tights</a> and wanted a couple minutes to re-adjust.<br /><br />I'll leave you with that mental image. Speaking of which - the next game's on Wednesday. I'll have to check and see if I have any Nashville-related wtf-ery lying around.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-90462425765564312722010-11-27T00:39:00.003-05:002010-11-27T02:25:25.384-05:00The Greatest Hockey Music Ever - Part IVSo from what we heard, that game tonight was pretty epic. Unfortunately, as we weren't around to see it, we don't really feel qualified to offer up our opinions, so here's something actually relevant to what we were doing that might entertain you.<br /><br />In honor of the Great Big Sea concert we just attended, here's the consummate sleeping-your-way-around-the-league song, Helmethead:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.box.net/shared/tf2188kjtd">Great Big Sea - Helmethead</a><br /><br />I'd like to be able to give this one another five paragraph analyzation, but unfortunately (fortunately?) it's sung completely in tune, and lacks both horrific lyrics and a synth solo breakdown. <br /><br />Enjoy.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-78584982809249288932010-11-22T17:15:00.002-05:002010-11-22T17:16:35.933-05:00My throat still hurts from yellingI'd like to bitch and moan about sloppy, inconsistent play right now, but I have a feeling that most of my complaints are just me taking out my unrelated frustrations (it's Monday morning right now, and I'm sacrificing my lunch hour (and risking the very real possibility that someone will walk by and yell at me for not working because they don't know I'm on lunch) to go through and edit this post for spelling errors and comma mistakes (of which there will still probably be three)) on whatever is most readily available, and since I don't have any way of watching the Blackhawks right now (SOMETIMES I TAKE OUT MY IRRATIONAL ANGER BY YELLING AT THAT TEAM FOR NO REASON, ALRIGHT?), it's all getting dumped on bad turnovers and powerplays where the Red Wings have no shots on goal.<br /><br />Oh my god, last night the Red Wings had a powerplay where there were no shots on goal.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Why?</span><br /><br />No, no I'm dwelling on the negative again. At the end of the story, however dismally you want to spin it, the Red Wings won.<br /><br />And I have to tell you - if they're going to use less-than-stellar play to set up dramatic turnarounds as exciting as last night was, fine. They have my blessing. I can watch Zetterberg and Lidstrom score ridiculous, game-changing goals like that every hour of every day for the rest of my life. More please.<br /><br />Even though every member of the team left the ice limping, somehow <a href="http://www.freep.com/article/20101122/SPORTS05/101122036/1053/Wings-say-Cleary-Modano-are-OK">no one got substantially injured</a>. So you can all loosen the knot in your stomach and prepare it for copious amounts of turkey.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-26298476312033720412010-11-17T10:54:00.000-05:002010-11-17T22:28:06.991-05:00WTF WednesdayI wanted to bring this to all of you on Sunday, when I heard about it, but Lindsay reminded me that it would be just as WTF on Wednesday. And it is.<br /><br />By now a few of you have probably caught wind of Toews and Kane's awful, amazing, awful cell phone commercial, maybe via <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Video-New-Toews-and-Kane-phone-commercial-with?urn=nhl-285359&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter">PuckDaddy's play-by-play</a>. If not - here's the gist:<br /><br />Jonathan Toews is sitting in an outdoor cafe, spies an attractive lady at the next table, then proceeds to take a picture of her <span style="font-style: italic;">hand</span> (don't ask me - I don't keep track of the Blackhawks' kinky fetishes) with his cell phone, and sends it off to his bff Patrick, who I guess has the magical ability to tell how attractive a woman looks just by getting a cameraphone picture of her fingers. He gives Toews the green light to pursue, and cautions him against using the phone's pick-up line app, presumably because Kane wants to keep all the really bad pick-up lines for himself (tell me he doesn't seem the type). The rest of the commercial is one big steaming pile of increasingly mounting awkwardness, that...<br /><br />I don't know, maybe I'm the only one. Tell me, ladies, if a stranger sidled up to you at a restaurant and had barely said hello before he whipped out his cell phone, laughed, said "I've got one funny friend", and showed you a picture of a different guy sandwiched between two other girls, would you or would you not expect to presently be invited to some sort of orgy? If Jonathan Toews did that to me, I would be running away, quickly, maybe in search of an officer of the law.<br /><br />Thankfully, someone besides myself saved the video before it was mysteriously taken off Youtube, so you can watch it <a href="http://subtlelikeseabrook.tumblr.com/post/1584331045/chi-townlove-saved-off-of-youtube-thank-god">here</a>. (If it gets removed again, let us know. We've got your back on this one. The world needs to see this.)<br /><br />Moral of the story: Ladies (or possibly men), if you ever see someone across the room take a picture of your left hand, run. Run quickly.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-63323228967591036672010-11-12T19:17:00.007-05:002010-11-13T13:03:31.467-05:00Don't mess with DetroitIf I were asked to list my three most hated things this week, I would say:<br /><br />1) Spiders<br />2) Getting asked if I know Eminem when people find out where I live<br />3) People who live outside the Metro area and insult the city of Detroit.<br /><br />Three things about life I truly love might be:<br /><br />1) The corner of <a href="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y199/AmongTheLost/57271560.jpg">8 Mile and Shadyside</a><br />2) Tim Hortons Iced Capps (made with chocolate milk, obviously)<br />3) When large groups of people band together for a common cause. Especially when it entails some fool gettin' told.<br /><br />It seems like this happens a couple times every year. A journalist sits down at his laptop, considers the vast, rich landscape of possibilities open to him through which to steer his readers, weighs them against his subject matter, his abilities, and his deadline, and goes the lazy man's route - straight through the heart of every man, woman, and child who feels insulted when Detroit's insulted too. And then those men, women, and children who have internet access assemble to give him the what for.<br /><br />You might want to read the first couple paragraphs of <a href="http://www.edmontonsun.com/sports/myoilers/2010/11/10/16078546.html">this</a> sparklingly brilliant work of journalism before continuing. Ahem.<br /><br />"Muggy with a chance of murder"? How <span style="font-style: italic;">dare </span>he mock southeast Michigan's relentless summer humidity. Until you've lived here, you just don't understand the indignity of watching your carefully flat-ironed coif spring up a frizz-halo three inches in every direction from your head. He's clearly balding. And heartless.<br /><br />In all honesty though, I write about this because it angers me. Maybe not this specific article per se - Detroit's been jabbed so many times that Tychkowski's jab didn't even penetrate the scar tissue - but the stereotypes his comments stemmed from rouse my ire. Maybe it's because I spend eight months out of the year a school telling people that 8 Mile really isn't that interesting, and is mostly gas stations, used car lots, and strip clubs. Maybe it's because I've personally felt the effects of the auto industry crumbling, watched friends and family members search endlessly for jobs to no avail, and watched as home foreclosures sprung up around my neighborhood like dandelions. True, the city has its problems, we can't ignore that - but to exploit them for a cheap laugh and a catchy anecdote is to cheapen the experiences of everyone who lives in the Detroit-metro area.<br /><br />Which, ultimately, is what this article amounted to. Tychkowski was trying to draw on a parallel between the crappyness of his team's play and the crappyness of the city of Detroit. It was just a little flourish of rhetoric wordplay. Removed from its geographical context, the turn of phrase is almost clever. He's probably a bit confused why his article has garnered over a hundred comments of angry backlash. I'm not confused. It's because we get judged on vacation when we tell people we're from the Detroit area. Because we get immediately defensive when we see the name of the city at the start of a news article not written by a local publication. And it's because EdmontonSun.com has a comments feature, whereas network sitcoms, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and the Times Magazine sitting in your doctor's waiting room - all of which have been guilty of laying down the hate on Detroit - do not.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/sports/nhl/red_wings/edmonton-columnist-takes-pot-shots-at-detroit-20101112-wpms">Mickey Redmond</a> was even peeved about this:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> "It's completely unnecessary, uncalled for, unrelated to the game of hockey," said Redmond. "If it was an attempt to be humorous, it was a lousy attempt at that. It was not necessary. You're beating up on a city that obviously doesn't need it"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">If I used this blog to occasionally disparage against Canada, particularly northern Alberta, I probably wouldn't get publicly told off by the Oilers color guy, which is almost a shame, because our Wikio ratings would go bananas.<br /></div></div><br />Anyway, Tychkowski, you pulled the "lol Detroit sucks" card, and now you're taking the heat for it. I don't know you - you might be a nice guy who feels like a real ass right now (some of those comments had considerably stronger wording than Mickey's), but maybe next time you'll choose your words more carefully. At any rate, you did manage to write one great, succinct, infinitely truthful Detroit-related line the other night - "The Wings are good."<br /><br />Yes. Yes they are.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-59220385570723591112010-11-08T22:56:00.005-05:002010-11-10T17:43:39.560-05:00Do you know what I love about Henrik Zetterberg?Everything.<br /><br /><br />Which is exactly what I loved about the ten seconds following Dan Cleary's goal and the final three seconds of that game.<br /><br />We haven't posted here in two weeks, and that's unacceptable. When this blog dies, it won't be a slow, languishing death wherein the space between posts gets wider and wider and wider until one day there just aren't anymore. No, if we go, we go with fireworks and explosions and eight page retrospectives and a big drunken party that you'll all be invited to - that's a promise. To keep that promise, I have to sit here tonight and write until I have something resembling a hockey blog assembled.<br /><br />- The Wings were outplayed for a decent chunk of the game Monday, which was reflected in the score, and the fact that the game went to overtime. This continues a trend. Because it's November, and they're winning most of these games anyway, I feel like I can afford to look the other way for now, and tell myself that everything will work itself out by spring. (I will regret these words eventually.)<br /><br />- Someone needs to tell Dan Cleary that scoring a goal for his team does not mean that he's in any way obligated to assist the other team in doing the same.<br /><br />- I'm not sure why Salei decided that jumping on Howard would be in our team's best interests this evening.<br /><br />- Rafalski made his return in this game. I have no idea how he looked, because my eyes unfocused every time the puck went into our defensive zone.<br /><br />- Have I mentioned how much I love Henrik Zetterberg?<br /><br />- Andy Brickley didn't say "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_SrpIVYX6w">tremendous sex</a>" this time, which is always a disappointment.<br /><br />- The Wings' next game is on Thursday, against the Oilers, again, only this time you don't have to stay up until 2am eastern to catch the end of it.<br /><br />And because I have nothing more relevant to say, here - have a picture of Wayne Gretzky about to eat his own daughter at a golf tournament. Because the Wings are between games with Phoenix and Edmonton, it's sort of relevant, if you squint, and maybe cross your eyes a little.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidTqOKjBI_ZAJ7NLCj2nS01MhwGeUv1DrG2GAjiCDsk9_8rO23NybABKtQDNcpGl98HinaQVvLRAn-p5KKw4PISqMGo4Zy85pOPrxJALtcp6LZuz3blWzxG98qB11kw1zBJMSySvsvRYY/s1600/cbo612.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidTqOKjBI_ZAJ7NLCj2nS01MhwGeUv1DrG2GAjiCDsk9_8rO23NybABKtQDNcpGl98HinaQVvLRAn-p5KKw4PISqMGo4Zy85pOPrxJALtcp6LZuz3blWzxG98qB11kw1zBJMSySvsvRYY/s400/cbo612.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537413987486263362" border="0" /></a>T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-7755405295274993672010-10-24T00:13:00.006-04:002010-10-24T02:38:00.389-04:00This Game Was RidiculousnessFirst of all, RIP Orange Hat Guy. It's a rare thing in major league sports when a fan garners as much notoriety as you had, and rarer still that it wasn't for doing something mind-blowingly idiotic in an attempt to draw attention to yourself. All you did was show up to every game in headgear the color of pure, unfiltered awesome. For that you were known, and for that you will be missed.<br /><br />...<br /><br /><br />Alright, the Wings won, so I'll be a good sport about this.<br /><br />Congratulations to Teemu Selanne on tying Bobby Hull for 15th place in all-time goals scored. Actually surpassing him's probably going to be a bigger deal for everybody involved, but Selanne's unlikely to do that against the Red Wings, and I'm not going to find out about it until three weeks after its happened, so this is my only chance. 610 is a heck of a lot of goals to score, but according to the Jets, Selanne's been the "Boss" for the last five hundred and fifty-six of them. Although maybe at some point between then and now he scored enough to take the quote marks off "Boss" so reading it out loud didn't make it sound condescendingly sarcastic.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqW1RgGoLy_wALiqBzdp2WWBcWi3PHEnztcb3oRhXLwnPUBT57jVtpvW-bmt5spnFVLx9oMVPc1gmR8y2EBFslFDARQLPYKdCtL3B7p2x7WC-D70GzXxBSw5WQtlJkfEiNO0L-7iENYDE/s1600/teemuthenewboss.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 261px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqW1RgGoLy_wALiqBzdp2WWBcWi3PHEnztcb3oRhXLwnPUBT57jVtpvW-bmt5spnFVLx9oMVPc1gmR8y2EBFslFDARQLPYKdCtL3B7p2x7WC-D70GzXxBSw5WQtlJkfEiNO0L-7iENYDE/s400/teemuthenewboss.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5531462453077720994" border="0" /></a>Who was the old boss I wonder? Was it Tie Domi?<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGfSLC-fX4WZ4bvNInpCRtWUKa_0fmq6zaY0RUYi_BZrcj1Z9uGq3zLwq-sFi252k-TjjUNO-DddB05eB94Fhu1bcqGhvxYK9WQuPcXeUkMEO-t5PeDoOHkppc5IwVlf2JMBCcZB0cddY/s1600/tie_pizzahut.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 340px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGfSLC-fX4WZ4bvNInpCRtWUKa_0fmq6zaY0RUYi_BZrcj1Z9uGq3zLwq-sFi252k-TjjUNO-DddB05eB94Fhu1bcqGhvxYK9WQuPcXeUkMEO-t5PeDoOHkppc5IwVlf2JMBCcZB0cddY/s400/tie_pizzahut.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5531462459914988546" border="0" /></a>Yeah, I bet it was Tie Domi.<br /><br />Also tied tonight was the goalie record for most consecutive non-losses in regulation since the lockout (which seems like an awkward thing to keep track of, but whatever). Jimmy tied Ozzie. Do you know what that means?<br /><br />That means the Red Wings are awesome.<br /><br />But not so awesome that I don't get to complain about inconsistent play. (When the Red Wings aren't winning games, like the first half of last season, I look back on posts like this one, read what I've written, throw up a little in my mouth at what a spoiled brat I must be to ask for more than two points, and pray to the hockey gods that my idiocy never astrally contributes to the rise of a second Dead Wings era. But this blog hasn't been updated regularly in a while, so I'm risking it.)<br /><br />There were so many moments in that game that were so spectacular that it gets hard to remember all the awful, cringe-worthy moments that sat between them. Which is part of what makes it frustrating. Howard actually said it best in his post-game interview on Thursday - that when the guys <span style="font-style: italic;">decide to play</span>, they're scary. (I don't know if he actually meant to call the whole team out in front of the media, but... he was saying what we were all thinking.) Can they make the playoffs by only doing the bare minimum required of them to succeed the whole year? Yeah, they can. They showed that they can this week, by pulling points out of games they didn't show up to for the full 60 minutes. But that's not what I want to see all season.<br /><br />It's like that genius kid you knew in high school who failed all his classes because he was too bored to pay attention. I knew that kid. He never went to college and now he's 25 and (bear with me here) still unemployed, living out of his mom's basement and making me weep for his wasted potential.<br /><br />The playoffs are college. And if the Red Wings get bored and lose all their regular season games, I'm going to be 24 and curled up in my mom's basement, weeping for their wasted potential.<br /><br />Why do I start freaking out about this kind of stuff in <span style="font-style: italic;">October</span>? Last October my soul died a little every game the Wings lost, which was almost every game. I would have killed for this October. Forget everything I just said, you guys. I don't care how they do it. Let's be happy for the win.<br /><br />The next games on Thursday. <span style="font-style: italic;">Thursday</span>. Have you ever woken up on Monday morning, screamed into your pillow because you had to go to school/work, and thought about the endless, unceasing, infinitely long string of hours you have to live through to make it to Friday? Add a day to that. That's how long it is until the next Wings game.<br /><br />Are the ridiculous schedules a byproduct of having to coordinate 82 games for 30 teams? Is it because of the conference/division system? Is it the network tv slots? Bettman? Is it old? Is it new? Am I imagining it? I'm serious. The scheduling process is, given all the varied aspects of hockey as a game and a business, probably the thing I'm least-informed about, which is stupid, because as a fan, it usually affects me the most directly. If any of you guys have better insight into this, please - enlighten me.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-1190080203253169312010-10-13T16:36:00.005-04:002010-10-13T17:22:49.612-04:00Hockey & Death Glares & Birthdays, Oh My.Boy, does it feel good to have hockey back (not that I've really been able to enjoy it yet, because I've been running around this semester like a crazy person). But I can honestly say that nothing feels as good as walking up to a pop machine and scaring away the huge guy in the Blackhawks shirt when he catches a glimpse of your Red Wings attire.<br /><br />That's a lie- This was better: <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BtYAvfym8lc?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BtYAvfym8lc?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br />And since it's Wednesday, I wish I could leave you with a WTF moment. But since I can't, I'll leave you with this:<br /><br />Today Hockeytown Static turns 24. Well, not the blog, but the main person behind the blog. Happy birthday, Trisha!<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.tastylayers.com/Specialty.html"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 248px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFdHjFLRKfByLaq3s-KFSVHBYX6axHzuxXZXX47-4WUNvLbZKv75vZcxGPNYKuv746hgYs4y0gKQ5PUe09EUp3IN08ZuWAOMv7EQmkhyphenhyphen6Dj9vpKUny8t5YIURLnJQMX44-PSdKOYCinBg/s400/RedWingsBirthdayRS.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527642752144821122" border="0" /></a>T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-63023968596369212082010-10-08T23:21:00.006-04:002010-10-09T15:58:11.443-04:00Two points to start the year offSome of you might remember a few years back when Corey Perry promised Pavs that he was "gonna get it too".<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSTL_UMKLalcUmdgujs6Z5Tqn0-yi7FBM9Se357Qi6C8zRj3IpsTGv9fleHCQ97JDG55ezQhMg34HV75BMgNJP5SddU5nOmAQX2H7pe7jE0PCnLZR_6F0-78oUHVNHzcE5KWff_TvX9O4/s1600/20101008231340_2010-1008-dg-wings277.jpg"><br /></a><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MUr_qek_W2I?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MUr_qek_W2I?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Well tonight Pavel got it, and "it" turned out to be the long-missing piece of a Gordie Howe hat trick.<br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/Lindsay/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot.png" alt="" /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0EJddaD_6iw?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0EJddaD_6iw?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(There's a better quality video on YouTube, but it was the Duck's feed, and no one needs to hear that)</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSTL_UMKLalcUmdgujs6Z5Tqn0-yi7FBM9Se357Qi6C8zRj3IpsTGv9fleHCQ97JDG55ezQhMg34HV75BMgNJP5SddU5nOmAQX2H7pe7jE0PCnLZR_6F0-78oUHVNHzcE5KWff_TvX9O4/s1600/20101008231340_2010-1008-dg-wings277.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 302px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSTL_UMKLalcUmdgujs6Z5Tqn0-yi7FBM9Se357Qi6C8zRj3IpsTGv9fleHCQ97JDG55ezQhMg34HV75BMgNJP5SddU5nOmAQX2H7pe7jE0PCnLZR_6F0-78oUHVNHzcE5KWff_TvX9O4/s400/20101008231340_2010-1008-dg-wings277.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5525916779421372242" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">(David Guralnick)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />(Which means that he's tied with Gordie Howe now. Awesome.)<br /><br />It's almost not fair that something this ridiculous happened tonight, because I feel like the internet coverage it's bound to get will far outweigh the four goals and Howard's shutout, which alone would have made this a more spectacular start to the season than I could have hoped for (or would have hoped for, because me thinking positively before the start of a hockey game bodes ill for my team). This game went above and beyond all my long, hockey-starved summer-fed hopes, dreams, and expectations.<br /><br />Some thoughts on the actual gameplay:<br /><br />I'll be honest - there were long stretches during that game that I was busy trying to figure out how to fit the circumstances leading up to things like the entire top line hitting the penalty box into a text (because Lindsay was at the Griffins home opener. I swear, every time <a href="http://hockeytownstatic.blogspot.com/2009/02/if-you-havent-seen-this-yet.html">something like</a> <a href="http://hockeytownstatic.blogspot.com/2010/03/bahahahaha.html">that happens</a>, I have to figure out how to get the story to her in under 200 characters), so I'm pretty sure I missed some important stuff, like whether the Wings were legitimately dominating or if the Ducks had been replaced by Windsor Timbit hockey kids, but if you're coming to this blog for Serious Sports Commentary like what the big smart men do on ESPN, you're in the wrong place anyway.<br /><br />(And if you're looking for hockey commentary on ESPN, then you're wronger than Darren McCarty in an Avs jersey.)<br /><br />But most of what I did see I'm excited about. Jimmy looked pretty strong out there, especially in the second period. Dan Cleary was getting knocked around out there pretty good and getting right back on the ice, but that's sort of like saying today ended in a Y. And I like that the Wings were giving back all the physicality that the Ducks dished out.<br /><br />On the other hand, I don't know if I want that to become a trend. Part of me still hopes that Franzen and his trick knee sit out tomorrow's game in Chicago. And the thought of Henrik Zetterberg spending the season getting cross-checked in the back sort of makes me want to vomit. Ericsson left tonight's game at some point with back spasms. I keep going back to last year's injury list and shuddering. And I still haven't seen Osgood play yet, just watched the preseason box score refresh and hoped the shots on goal stayed significantly higher than the goals allowed. I have a bad feeling that I'm going to be spending the winter banging my head against a wall while he loses games again. I don't know why I couldn't have been a normal kid and had my man-crush on Sergei Fedorov or something.<br /><br />But whatever. The Wings got their first win on the season tonight, and that fills me with unending joy. Which I should savor while I have the chance, because I think we get to watch the Hawks raise a banner tomorrow night. (You know FSD'll cut to that thing every time they come back from commercial. And then Ken'll have to talk about it. And then I'll die a little inside.)T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-51927314473498988602010-09-15T20:45:00.001-04:002010-09-15T20:45:27.579-04:00It's good to have goalsIt's cold outside. The top leaves on the skinniest trees are starting to twinge orange. The wind, though not yet icy, brings with it the scent of cold fronts to come. Schools are in session, and summer resort towns up and down Michigan's coasts are rolling up the sidewalks, lining beaches with winter fences, and repricing hotel rooms with off-season rates (supposedly. I'm pretty sure most of them keep the prices up for the fall-foliage tours). <a href="http://multimedia.detnews.com/pix/photogalleries/sportsgallery/20100902WingsPrac/">The Red Wings are back on Joe Louis Arena ice</a>, and training camp is right around the corner. I'd say, if you asked me, that summer is over.<br /><br />"<a href="http://hockeytownstatic.blogspot.com/2010/05/were-not-dead.html">This summer, we're going to set the lofty goal of at least 15 [posts]</a>"<br /><br />Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha<br /><br />Counting this one, the one where I announced that we had a goal, and assuming that I'm not updating again until well into preseason, this blog has tied last summer's post-count. Which I actually consider a huge success.<br /><br />The Hockey Music thing was only supposed to be summer filler, but (and I don't know whether this is good or bad news for you) I've decided to continue it until I run out of music to post about, mostly because I already had at least another five posts partially written. Also because I refuse to have tracked down Guy Lafleur's disco album for <span style="font-style: italic;">nothing</span>.<br /><br />You can expect all that - as well as the usual bitching, erratic posting, gross humiliation of plastic figurines, and speculations as to whether Jimmy Howard ever had a set of <a href="http://multimedia.detnews.com/pix/34/2a/86/f0/47/54/20100902183248_15-Wings-Prac.jpg">Spiderman footie pajamas</a> that you've probably come to expect from this blog - within the next month, as Lindsay and I crawl out of our air-conditioned, hockey-deprived cocoons to rediscover the endless cycle of joy and heartbreak that comes with being a Red Wings fan.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-65259357248664281732010-08-04T15:24:00.005-04:002010-10-09T15:57:35.521-04:00Say hello to your newest Red WingHis name is Mike. He likes dogs<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_jrrXGs46O7Xi0qVZ5ChrCz9FOu_c-HYWF_lU2L1xHFwWAAzKZqdOHLFm7WHuu6aAg2IFFbZWA6SkaGVMZ0O3UMMQQkFaKSeo4NepO4Ko3NQpf-Zkk9o8QNCMDbwcm2h56664qbWVk5U/s1600/MikeModano.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 321px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_jrrXGs46O7Xi0qVZ5ChrCz9FOu_c-HYWF_lU2L1xHFwWAAzKZqdOHLFm7WHuu6aAg2IFFbZWA6SkaGVMZ0O3UMMQQkFaKSeo4NepO4Ko3NQpf-Zkk9o8QNCMDbwcm2h56664qbWVk5U/s400/MikeModano.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501638656135589074" border="0" /></a><br /><br />big hair<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE4c-WlJDKw1T7Wx_eLp91ESReYf6frxxL3Nr1h3ebVxt_ugu2p2doCT40WBR8FmJbhApGuLWtOP2g14kIFlOboCe30h2laLq2BepVi46-IbhYmFCQ1kbvUoGzA9JzMrAcIqoYf-Xjp5E/s1600/modano.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE4c-WlJDKw1T7Wx_eLp91ESReYf6frxxL3Nr1h3ebVxt_ugu2p2doCT40WBR8FmJbhApGuLWtOP2g14kIFlOboCe30h2laLq2BepVi46-IbhYmFCQ1kbvUoGzA9JzMrAcIqoYf-Xjp5E/s400/modano.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501639192302023586" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Willa Ford<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mbZEqT9280A&hl=en_US&fs=1?color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mbZEqT9280A&hl=en_US&fs=1?color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />crying<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kZTPgmlHFkQ&hl=en_US&fs=1?color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kZTPgmlHFkQ&hl=en_US&fs=1?color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />And possibly Marty Turco<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMr-Ygtg11VNgtfURWmQIcLlQreFZywzpn2_A7ZVJeUAoVLwOIl4oRbnrjWyuJ0HuUi7EZxtFYR1ctzo6zikpvmATwUjxU81oMQgCjGBbTvWj_t2JjjS2aofJcDk9tf6htuHfN3nRhpXE/s1600/modano-turco.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 291px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMr-Ygtg11VNgtfURWmQIcLlQreFZywzpn2_A7ZVJeUAoVLwOIl4oRbnrjWyuJ0HuUi7EZxtFYR1ctzo6zikpvmATwUjxU81oMQgCjGBbTvWj_t2JjjS2aofJcDk9tf6htuHfN3nRhpXE/s400/modano-turco.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501643351321500146" border="0" /></a><br /><br />which could get a little complicated next season, what with him being a <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nhl/news/story?id=5430163">Blackhawk now</a>.<br /><br />A lot of people seem to have mixed feelings about his coming to Detroit, but it's been my experience that the more <a href="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y199/AmongTheLost/oldmen.jpg">sad-eyed, hockey-scarred old men</a> the Red Wings have on the team, the further they get in the playoffs, so you can tentatively throw my name on the list of local family members, old friends, and kids who spent their afternoons at <a href="http://www.calsignco.com/Mike_Modano_Ice_Arena_1.jpg">his ice rink</a> that comprise his ready-made Detroit-area fanbase.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-16332950499782424132010-06-26T01:17:00.001-04:002010-10-09T15:57:28.455-04:00The Greatest Hockey Music Ever Written - Part III: Dionne and The Puck-TonesI love Marcel Dionne's story because it's the kind of tragedy that you don't feel completely awful finding hilarious. Probably the saddest part of it is that despite still ranking 4th in all-time goals scored and 5th in all-time points, becoming the third player to reach 700 goals, and remaining the highest scoring French Canadian player in the history of the leauge (no, really. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NHL_statistical_leaders">Look it up</a>.), he remains largely unmentioned in discussions of "the greatest players of all time". He's one of the NHL's forgotten superstars.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5FEf1P9hIWyy8nGzSjlWZq28vO57KdowEcSikwi_JrmNjhrLVhj6WrK7UgmHAt4xfT8Db9aRcMS_vdSW9_Z3zXqwEL2S6khOAGB4FuHzZR4skLXv8z3OxFo25YLZLU2p9O7rXGi612c/s1600/dionne-pic-det.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 313px; height: 390px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5FEf1P9hIWyy8nGzSjlWZq28vO57KdowEcSikwi_JrmNjhrLVhj6WrK7UgmHAt4xfT8Db9aRcMS_vdSW9_Z3zXqwEL2S6khOAGB4FuHzZR4skLXv8z3OxFo25YLZLU2p9O7rXGi612c/s400/dionne-pic-det.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486444643139402066" border="0" /></a><br />He's better remembered by Red Wings fans as the guy who wanted out. In 1975, after three years of on and off bickering with coaching staff and management, Dionne moved to the Los Angeles Kings as a restricted free agent. Because during the 1974-75 season he had set a club record of 121 points (on a team which held a winning record for a whopping ten games), the Detroit fans were a little upset. The Kings fan was, understandably, very excited.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIY4GgV7bHiLCjMx2xwq1sRB5LFJ11ksG1EGe-WzCkY4kOYItZi1KDSLeSNvavPFsOtD5Cx72mCT6axaJfg6dPnVYxBMpUdzaeubiizihEwQW8laOIqaB9bH1a0noLmFjXwmZZTPRjTFY/s1600/kingsfan1.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 298px; height: 195px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIY4GgV7bHiLCjMx2xwq1sRB5LFJ11ksG1EGe-WzCkY4kOYItZi1KDSLeSNvavPFsOtD5Cx72mCT6axaJfg6dPnVYxBMpUdzaeubiizihEwQW8laOIqaB9bH1a0noLmFjXwmZZTPRjTFY/s400/kingsfan1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486603073920446706" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMliCcjkdmGZfdlVWfbyVu69YiOFWj5JAgcvxJW8zpN3BUiIi-K20w6XEzLpHdPIBV-8NFsVAwiyMwZwywYA-NZdrrT0Wi8Rv9qTNH_fGzkP_sYqc0Y49zMELWvit7I2Gx9IFJFqF6kas/s1600/kingsfan2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 299px; height: 198px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMliCcjkdmGZfdlVWfbyVu69YiOFWj5JAgcvxJW8zpN3BUiIi-K20w6XEzLpHdPIBV-8NFsVAwiyMwZwywYA-NZdrrT0Wi8Rv9qTNH_fGzkP_sYqc0Y49zMELWvit7I2Gx9IFJFqF6kas/s400/kingsfan2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486603086262266290" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKtaRZ6LNJvJ1RplYZctNxakZ7sm_0bCmhsCXw7ujLVCt2mjxAIClDHyz0xdmSEYhR_oETHDOvPXIUSUbhTK0J-6H1ofgEp4jWlgDObLkLkwa9AZTVHMapcp2sOK0u0ojVmPm-_RN1KGQ/s1600/kingsfan3.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 304px; height: 198px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKtaRZ6LNJvJ1RplYZctNxakZ7sm_0bCmhsCXw7ujLVCt2mjxAIClDHyz0xdmSEYhR_oETHDOvPXIUSUbhTK0J-6H1ofgEp4jWlgDObLkLkwa9AZTVHMapcp2sOK0u0ojVmPm-_RN1KGQ/s400/kingsfan3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486603090511288562" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Alas, life in Los Angeles wasn't all Dionne had hoped it would be - local interest in hockey, to this day tenuous at best, was still in its infancy, and, as he himself put it, "we didn't have the supporting cast". The Kings were perennial early-round knock-offs, and Dionne became another name in a long list of hockey players to be quoted about <a href="http://redwings.nhl.com/club/page.htm?bcid=his_wol_wol-marceldionne">wishing they'd never left Detroit</a>. In a last-ditch attempt to motivate his team to a championship, Dionne hatched an elaborate scheme which involved pretending to demand a trade. Then Kings GM Rogie Vachon called his bluff and sent him off the the New York Rangers, who were also in the midst of a long-term Cup drought.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriQeWHgtR3wx7HTbLk027y0wkf2KC4tPWZOVs3aUoxYgVvbTEKQvwRl2WBXplm9IUuVFNyKzQXX7N5TcVf0e6_pBgZN9HovkPCBAxP6xqojBOwx-Mk2tC_N8PkmZV2uTV2QxpawY1wEA/s1600/dionne2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 246px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriQeWHgtR3wx7HTbLk027y0wkf2KC4tPWZOVs3aUoxYgVvbTEKQvwRl2WBXplm9IUuVFNyKzQXX7N5TcVf0e6_pBgZN9HovkPCBAxP6xqojBOwx-Mk2tC_N8PkmZV2uTV2QxpawY1wEA/s400/dionne2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486444629506517394" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">aw man, this shit sucks.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></div><br />So it's my hope that if he's not going to be remembered for being one of the top scorers in league history, maybe he'll be remembered for Dionne and the Puck-Tones' <a href="http://www.box.net/shared/7ryijp93c7">"Please Forgive my Misconduct Last night"</a>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJQQrH_HHYKqKGpLD9ODGVX1lxNatHAQTqAP6iQMb9krWgKdDJ2BjwrTI3edxINmcfHtipnZzNGFgjKN9SYKaFE6mUg-pZbnfkZsf2HOoaY8xSYwRdPbxrQtLlCbWR4TVgR69f8cb4v90/s1600/2057828213_8170cb1714.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 398px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJQQrH_HHYKqKGpLD9ODGVX1lxNatHAQTqAP6iQMb9krWgKdDJ2BjwrTI3edxINmcfHtipnZzNGFgjKN9SYKaFE6mUg-pZbnfkZsf2HOoaY8xSYwRdPbxrQtLlCbWR4TVgR69f8cb4v90/s400/2057828213_8170cb1714.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486444622991400802" border="0" /></a><br />Recorded by Dionne and his Triple Crown Linemates <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Simmer">Charlie Simmer</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Taylor_%28ice_hockey%29">Dave Taylor</a>, "Please Forgive My Misconduct Last Night" was part of a record produced to help benefit juvenile diabetes research, so I guess it can be somewhat excused that the boys needed professional background singers and probably a little 70s-era auto-tuning to keep them sort of on-key. And we're still not talking "hey these guys are pretty good" on-key, just "well I guess at least this is for a good cause" on-key.<br /><br />But as much as I love listening to hockey players butcher music, the real beauty of "Please Forgive my Misconduct" is in the lyrics. If you've ever found yourself in a position where you've been too frisky with a lady-friend and needed a creative way to apologize for your forwardness the next day to save the relationship, this is your song. Unless of course she's not a big fan of hockey, or wordplay. I'd quote from them, but I don't even know where to begin. Please just listen for yourselves - this is a song that needs to be experienced.<br /><br />And actually, it wasn't even released as its own single. It was the B-side to <a href="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y199/AmongTheLost/phil-esposito-and-the-ranger-rocker.jpg">"Hockey Sock Rock" by Phil Esposito and the Ranger Rockers!!!</a> (the triple exclamation points are actually on the album cover) which you can read about <a href="http://highonhockey.blogspot.com/2007/11/hockey-sock-rock-1.html">here</a>. Unfortunately, the crown jewel of that post, the 1979 Rangers Sasson Jeans commercial, was taken off Youtube recently, so here you go:<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SNjntNHHUs0&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SNjntNHHUs0&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Funny story about the Rangers Sasson Jeans commercial - there were two of them. And what the second lacks in <a href="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y199/AmongTheLost/Duguay1-1.jpg">Ron Duguay's hair</a>, it makes up for in prancing. Or maybe the right word is mincing.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FYtWlmaKsww&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FYtWlmaKsww&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />I hope that if those didn't destroy your world, they made your day.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-91280623118406080402010-06-24T13:34:00.003-04:002010-06-24T17:18:53.163-04:00Whoa, where did June go?I said we were aiming for fifteen posts this summer. I didn't say they wouldn't all be the last fifteen days before the season opener. <br /><br /><br />Today is the day before the draft, the day after the NHL awards, and one nerve-wracking week away from free agent frenzy. This is like a sad island of hockey in the middle of a long, hot, hockeyless sea. And yet, I feel as though I have nothing useful to say.<br /><br />Except that HOLY CRAP NHL AWARDS WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE WITH SPONSORSHIP AND PRODUCT PLACEMENT? The ads were so deeply woven into the fabric of the show itself (they actually had the Gieco caveman running around, antagonizing Mike Green, and they actually had the United States Army present Shane Doan with the King Clancy Memorial Trophy, which sort of seemed strange) that the giant flashing Verizon logo during the first musical number seemed like a sad and desperate cry for attention. Come on, Verizon, you can shell out an extra 500 bucks for a custom graphic of like a cell phone playing hockey or something. But I don't know, maybe they just pasted that onto the Versus feed, since they don't even have Verizon in Canada. <br /><br />I was expecting Ron McLean to come out with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE2OiwATsa4">sponsored eyebrows</a> again.<br /><br />All I know is that after watching the NHL Awards, I don't want to join the army or buy insurance. I just want hockey to be back.<br /><br />Expect another music post to be up in the next day or so. You might want to start airing the mothball scent off your Marcel Dionne jerseys in anticipation of this one.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3735095525224578811.post-69304501277918642372010-06-01T15:02:00.005-04:002010-10-09T15:56:53.645-04:00Lidstrom's not retiring yetI got the best email in the world today. It linked to <a href="http://redwings.nhl.com/club/news.htm?id=530664">this</a>.<br /><br />This is jumping around the house in celebration-worthy for three reasons:<br /><br />1. NICK LIDSTROM IS COMING BACK NEXT YEAR<br /><br />2. I get to stop having to listen to the analysts on CBC segue from Blackhawks goals to their opinions that Nick Lidstrom is retiring<br /><br />3. Lindsay is done crying emo tears of sadness on the couch and actually becomes a functioning member of society once more.<br /><br />If you're not sure how to react to this kind of news, <a href="http://thetripledeke.blogspot.com/2010/06/one-more-year.html">The Triple Deke</a> has suggestions. I'm going to celebrate by blowdrying the tears out of the couch cushions.T/Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02026444602766599066noreply@blogger.com0