Wednesday, January 12, 2011

WTF Wednesday

As you all probably know by now, the NHL is going comical.

Now when I first heard of this, my concern was what they would concoct for the Red Wings. My mind immediately went to an image of an old man who can fly, is a Transformer, and has a pistol that shoots Little Caesar's Pizza.

I would buy this action figure in a heartbeat.

Now those of you who have naive, optimistic minds might be thinking this is crazy talk - that certainly the great Stan Lee, the father of the entire Marvel Comics franchise would be able to put together a character creation team that could come up with 30 unique, original, and non-crazy ideas. And if you want to keep thinking that, you should exit this blog immediately, because after seeing the ridiculousness that they came up with for the teams released so far, I think old Optimus Ted up there is going to hit well below the WTF-ery mark that Marvel is about to set.

So far 12 of the 30 superheroes have been revealed and they... well, you really just have to see them for yourselves.

The King looks prissy and like he would cry if he broke a nail (maybe it's the ponytail). The Oiler is clearly on steroids. The Hurricane looks like Genie Jafar, and I'm pretty sure that The Devil is just a horse. And they really spared no expense when inventing the Guardian's powers. Nothing says superhero like The Predator's "matter ingestion" or The Wild's "general mayhem" (I've got a two year old cousin who does both of those quite well).

My favorite so far is The Flyer:

A "granite chin"? Ok, I know what they mean by that, but I'm still getting the mental image of Bobby Clarke's head being used as a curling stone. (And sorry, no - you're not getting an MS Paint of that. I have to have this posted before midnight.)

This assessment of the project sounds a little scathing, I know, but there is honestly nothing this blog loves more than something hockey related that's so crazy it makes you question the laws of the universe.

It looks like the Guardian Project is going to answer all Hockeytown Static's secret wtf hopes and dreams.