Hey, is it Wednesday?

Because after last night's game, I feel like some wtf.

And nothing is more wtf than Saturday morning cartoons from the early 90s. Especially Saturday morning cartoons from the early 90s staring Wayne Gretzky.

Have you ever found real Wayne Gretzky lacking? Thought that maybe he needed a bigger upper body? A more luscious-looking mullet? An arsenal of pucks that turned into boomerangs and then EXPLODED? If your answer to any of the above questions was OH YES PLEASE!, then today is the day your dreams come true.



"The Perbots of Dr. Lobe" (no, I'm still not really sure what a "perbot" is, exactly), wherein Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan, and Bo Jackson attempt to save a vaguely ethnic child from a mad scientist using SPORTS! and... a giant magnet? Or something? Here's part 2 and part 3 where Wayne is sort of a whiny little coward.

I highly recommend you all watch the other episodes in the related videos section.

Preferably sitting on the floor in front of your computer in your pajamas with a bowl of Lucky Charms.

Game today (and probably a little bit of tomorrow) vs not Jim Balsillie

The little break the Wings have been on since Saturday has felt like an eternity. It's like the off season all over again. I guess on the plus side however, Pavel hopefully has had time to heal from his "cough shoulder sprain cough" and will be back tonight to play the Coyotes in Phoenix. In honor of the first of the season, let's break down the pros and cons of west coast road trips -

The Good:
1. Laughing when the Hockeytown West shows up in droves and out-cheers the home crowd.

2. ... Yeah, pretty much only Hockeytown West.


The Bad:
1. Having to stay up until 2am even when we don't go into an endless shootout against the other team. (Seriously. I'm young, and I still have the sleep schedule of a 20 year old college student, but when I have to have two cups of coffee just to make it to pregame...)

2. No Mickey Redmond.

3. Too much Larry Murphy.

4. Have I ever mentioned that Jim Balsillie's name reminds me of either some round-shaped, Sesame Street-themed, Playskool toddler toy, or something that Family Guy fans would spend three hours giggling at? It used to make me break into hysterics at a mere moment's notice, but lately the joke has been wearing pretty thin and something worries me that tonight we'll be hearing it enough times for me to develop a nervous tick.

5. (and what might be the worst of them all) No more laughing at Gretzky dropping f-bombs from the bench on camera because his team just let Brett Lebda get a hat trick.

No major disrespect meant to Wayne, but I really used to look forward to that.

Sigh. This is what we have to live with until Halloween...

Go Wings.

No coach makes more amusing bench faces than Gretzky

There's a game tonight. I have mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand, after the Red Wings won the last game in a shootout over the St. Louis Blues, I skipped elatedly back to my room, wave after wave of happiness and relief washing over me. Then I stopped and thought about what kind of ass-tastical month my team must be having if I was about to break into song over a shootout win against the St. Louis Blues, and the hockey stress kind of came back stronger.

The good news is tonight I have a really good excuse not to watch the game - it's on FSN Plus, a channel that GVSU's cable service provider decided we didn't need. I'll be listening to Ken Kal via the internet, because nothing gets more French homework done than hockey over the radio. At least Zetterberg's back in the lineup.

My thoughts on what we're walking into? Well, the last time I made predictions before a Phoenix game, the worst ones came true, so I'm not even touching this one with my own opinion. Hank's horoscope has no useful insight today, unless I'm to take that his "lucky numbers" mean that the lines are going to run Helm-Samuelsson-Maltby and Zetterberg-Draper-Hudler, although if they're still playing sucky and Babcock starts pulling names from a hat again, I would not be surprised. Creeped out, maybe, now that I've written it down, but not at all surpised. Maybe somebody who's actually watching this game can fill me in if it happens; it's kind of hard to keep track of line changes when you can't actually see them.

Osgood gets the start again tonight, which I guess means that he'll also be starting in Pittsburgh on Sunday, and... ... I don't want to talk about the goalies right now, so here, have a picture of Wayne Gretzky being pissed off.


Let it give you hope for the near future.