A recap of things you probably already know

Tonight the Wings take on the Blues, in what I'm assuming will be a painfully empty Joe Louis Arena. About three hours ago I got a text practically begging me to buy student rush tickets (if I were home, you better believe I would be there), and rumor has it that only around 12,000 tickets have been sold for this game. If the weather in Detroit is anything like it is up here in the Grand Rapids area, I'm assuming that it's playing a pretty big role in this, but it still worries me.


-As I'm sure you've all heard unless you've been living under a rock, Darren McCarty has officially announced his retirement. Snapshots has a nice compilation of teammate's thoughts on this here.

-On a happy note, Valtter Filppula got the cast on his arm removed, and is on the road to return later this month.

-Ken Holland and Mike Babcock once again won the team competition to raise the most money for the Salvation Army yesterday. Anyone else smell cheating here?

Anyway, hopefully this game will be better than the Sweden games against St. Louis, and the Wings can come out of it with a full two points.

A three point weekend that could have been worse

Normally when there's back-to-back games and this blog only covers the second game, it's out of laziness. This time it's out of the fact that I was at a Griffins game and Lindsay was at a dance recital.

And from what I've heard, all I would have had to say about the New Jersey game was "It must have been an improvement from the last one because the Wings got a point and didn't score any goals on themselves".

Oh hey, check that out. It's like we just covered the first game.

On to games the Red Wings have actually won

Some thoughts on last night's win:

- Ugh, that ice was awful. I am so grateful the Pistons are at the Palace.

- Speaking of which, those intermission highlights of the Pistons game were starting to give me disconcerting flashbacks to Vipers games I thought I didn't remember.

- BRENDAN SHANAHAN. Once upon a time, there was a little girl who really loved the Red Wings. A few of them in particular she loved more than others, and among these was one named Brendan Shanahan. He had been constructed out of imported Irish awesomeness and filled with 500 metric shit-tons of 80 carat win. After three lifetimes of playing for the Red Wings, Brendan Shanahan walked off into the night, never to be heard from again. This made the little girl very sad. Until one day, he gave an interview during second intermission of a game between the Red Wings and the Rangers where he looked out from the tv screen and said "thank you Detroit", and it filled the little girl with such diabetically syrup-thick sugary joy that she almost cried.

And guys? That little girl was me.

- If the neighbors weren't wondering about the state of my mental health before, they probably are now after the save on that penalty shot caused me to loudly profess my undying love for Jimmy Howard.

- Hypothetical situation - Sean Avery and Henrik Zetterberg go into a corner. Who comes out with a penalty? Because before last night I would not have said Henrik Zetterberg. I give Sean a solid 7.5 on that dive, though. For a second there, I almost bought it.

- Does Kris Draper hold the record for most empty-net goals in franchise history? If he doesn't, I'd like to know who the hell does.

You know, I think I like this whole "winning games" business. The Wings should do it more often.

Do you know what that was?

At least they won't smell out of place when they head out to New Jersey this weekend.

Get it? Because the whole state smells like burning garbage. I'm making fun of people to make myself feel better. It's working.

Trying to go for three in a row

Tonight we're going to see a match-up of two teams limping through injuries.

For the Red Wings, this means limping harder than last time, because Brian Rafalski's out with... a worrysome back.

In his place, Wings have called up Griffins blueliner Jakub Kindl. Say hi to the people, Jakub.

huh?

Last season he had 6 goals and 27 assists in Grand Rapids. He is two hundred and ten pounds of pure unadulterated awesomeness*.

*Actual purity of awesomeness will vary. Contents may settle during shipping.

He's been pretty good with the Griffins the last few years, and I'm excited that he's getting his shot, but... I'd be more excited if the Wings had less injuries and more wins on the season.

The Oilers are at 9-14-4 right now, unless I utterly fail at counting, but assuming your team is going to beat someone just because they've won more games so far is setting yourself up to weep bitter tears of anguish into your pillow at night. The Wings lost their last game against Edmonton in a come-from-behind-to-toy-with-your-emotions shootout which took place at approximately four in the morning eastern standard time. I think Darren Helm scored his first regular season goal that night, even though CBC still hasn't recognized him for it in their Kia Fantasy Pool (stop being dicks, you guys, I saw it happen).

And unless Mike Babcock's been changing his mind last minute again (what? no, that never happens...), it'll be Howard in net again tonight.

Let the ridiculousness commence. Go Wings.

That's more like it

I want more games like that one. More games where my biggest complaint is that most of the goals scored were deflections and strange bounces, so we didn't get to see Datsyuk deke the shit out of Turco. Again. And again and again. Actually, someday I plan on compiling a video collection of The Detroit Red Wings Making Marty Turco Look Foolish and burning it to dvd. Oh man, I would watch that everyday.

Someday Marty Turco is going to have a nervous breakdown, come to Detroit, and try to set Joe Louis Arena aflame. You'll see it on the news, and tell your children I remember; I was there.

Sweet Swedish retribution

The St. Louis game put us in a position where, for the first time either of us could remember, so long as no Red Wings left the ice dead or injured, or as long as they scored a single goal (that counted), we would be satisfied.

The realization that this was the point to which the season had sunken our spirits sort of made me want to throw up a little in my mouth.

Watching Todd Bertuzzi skate out on the ice to take the shootout made me want to throw up a lot in my mouth, and the awful sound of the puck hitting the post that I 100% expected to hear still sort of haunts my nightmares (and I actually like Todd Bertuzzi, so I don't want to imagine how horrible that moment must have been for the haters) even though he actually got the puck in the back of the net and I danced around the living room in happiness.

The Wings are still gunning for a home ice being-shut-out record of like ten thousand minutes though.

I'd post something relevant about tonight's game against the Dallas Stars, but all I have is a rant about how I want the Eurotwins back on a line together and a picture of Marty Turco shirtless. I'll post either upon sufficient request.

But if there's sufficient request for naked Turco, I might have to retire from blogging forever.

ajsldfjsldfjlsdfjls

Two games. 80 shots on net. No goals. The first double shutout since 1977.

What.

The.

Crap.

Maybe I should have been a little more specific when I said that I wanted to witness Red Wings history when I attended the only two games I was going to get to attend in probably two years.

I'm not really sure how this makes me feel. I don't know if I want to be angry, or if I want to laugh, or if I want to throw myself off the ambassador bridge, or maybe I want to do all three. I had the urge to do all three today, but I don't think jumping off a bridge while laughing angrily at hockey is quite the way I want to go. But I don't even have anything relevant to say about the game yet, except that it was ridiculous. I'm sort of too in shock right now at it having happened in the first place to form an opinion about it.

Seriously, what was that?

Remember how Lindsay wanted to corner Jarome Iginla in an elevator and give him a swift kick in the shins for his team's past transgressions before tonight's game? Her blind hatred of the Calgary Flames has now crossed over into the realm of the comedic. I've spent most of the night whispering "Dion Phaneuf" from across the room and watching her face spasm with disgust.

It's funny in the same way that disallowed goals aren't.

Happy Thanksgiving

While I agree that the Wings could have played that game with a little more jump and eagerness, you can’t fault them for a lack of effort. 40 shots on goal and not a single one in Atlanta’s net? That Pavelec kid was kind of ridiculous, and I’m sure the save he made in the second period will be on all the week’s highlight reels.

This being Thanksgiving (unless you’re in Canada, then this being Thursday), here is a list of things I am thankful for:

-That at least nobody got injured in that game
-Henrik Zetterberg
-The infinite classiness of Wings fans, who gave a pretty earnest clap for Slava Kozlov’s second period goal
-East side accents. I know you have no idea what I’m talking about, because you can’t hear them, but trust me – milling around a building full of locals going ‘hockey’ this and ‘pop’ that after having spent the last four weeks up in the Grand Rapids area? It was heaven.

But this whole not winning thing? Sort of beginning to become an issue. Those two goals Jimmy let in last night could have been the softest two goals ever to have been scored in the National Hockey League, and I’d still have trouble faulting him for the loss because you sort of have to score at least once to win a game.

Yeah. Yeah, the Red Wings got shut out by the Atlanta Thrashers. The good news is that when you’re done puking about that, you’ll have more room for turkey.

At least we got to see Darren McCarty?

There's not really much to say about last night's game. The penalty kill sucked, Brian Engblom's hair sucked, the final score sucked, and as usual in Nashville, the fans sucked. Or I guess maybe they blew. Because god forbid Jordin Tootoo take a shift without the world being alterted. If I ever find myself in Nashville, I am marching into the Sommet Center with a jug of lighter fluid and a match, and burning everyone's train whistles. In a big, giant train whistle bonfire.

(yeah you best view that shit full-sized.)

I literally watched half the game on mute so I didn't have to listen to it. But the final fwa-eeeeet that they'd all make together as the superheated air of the whistle-fire blew through them? Would be worth hearing.

Also, after martin Erat's hat trick--- oh wait, he only scored two goals? So it wasn't a hat trick then? Well that's good to know. I guess I got a little confused from there having been more hats thrown on the ice for him than there were after Teemu Selanne's actual hat tick against the Wings last season in Anaheim. Maybe they just thought three goals for one team in a game or three points for one player in a game was a hat trick. That's an honest mistake that anyone could make.

I feel bad for the 8 or 10 Nashville fans that actually like hockey.