It's not the Arby's Curse - it's the Arby's Conspiracy...

Some scattered thoughts (since lately that's all I seem to be having) on tonight's game:

• Clearly the Red Wings need to sign Darren Helm for 2384873 bajillion years. And then start cloning him so he'll never get injured and never age. Games like this are why Lindsay's sacrificing the first two days of her spring break to own him as a bobblehead.
  

• Over on the other end of the spectrum, Dear Todd Bertuzzi: don't ever do that again. I mean the entire game. Don't ever have a game like that again. Go back to surprising everyone with timely goals and intelligent plays. Please.

• That goal by Datsyuk was the most spectacularly beautiful thing I think I've ever seen.

• Someone in the organization made a swanky deal with Arby's didn't they? A deal which would prevent hat tricks while allowing for a ridiculous amount of advertisement. Today Darren Helm went along with it. Just like the whole club's gone along with it for the better part of two seasons. Everyone except Henrik Zetterberg.

• Which is why I love Henrik Zetterberg. Because Henrik Zetterberg fights The Man.
  

Winning is nice

Winning is very nice.

I know that between flukey injuries and low goal production, Tomas Kopecky wasn't exactly a perennial favorite among most Wings fans, but he's well liked around our household, and it was a little hard watching him... be a Blackhawk... ugh.

And uh, Brad May. Yeah. Who'da thought?


Today is Henrik Zetterberg's birthday. Fittingly, it's also Leif Ericson Day. Happy vikings!

Ericson spelled with one S looks wrong now. Thanks for that one, Fabio.

Oh, summer....

Happy August, everyone. Ewww, August. I'm sure that by this point of the summer you all are just about ready to jump off a bridge becuase you're sick of being stuck with news stories about Alex Ovechkin's odd pre-game ritual and just want real hockey to start again. I know I am.

But luckily we have plenty of other ridiculous Red Wings related news to keep us busy. From the looks of it, Nick Lidstrom will be named captain of Team Sweden, and the roster will be once again filled with the rest of the Detroit Red Wings. They had their pre-Olympic gathering a few days ago, featuring tiny sandwiches, cult-like outfits, and Henrik Zetterberg's new haircut.

Like half the team got married this week, too. Jimmy Howard was practically forbidden from going on a honeymoon this summer by Ken Holland because it would have been too close to training camp, and Johan Franzen's wedding had to be delayed because Hank and Emma were late.

I am unable to confirm if this was because Hank was held up at the barber, but that's this blog's official speculation, mostly because the only other thing we have to speculate about is which two free agents Ken Holland's about to pull out of his ass.

Holy crap

I get terrified every time I see anything I think might injure a Wing like Henrik Zetterberg. I mean, Hank especially. He gets a love-tap from someone half his size and I cover my eyes and yell OH-NO BACK SPASMS!

But I thought this was awesome.

Completely unnecessary, and the result of a bunch of ridiculously cheap shots by a frustrated Penguins team (seriously, Max Talbot, stop being a whore and lay off our goalie), but awesome.

And after seven (now eight) Stanley Cup finals games against them, that kind of end-of-game shenaniganery is just what I've come to expect from Pittsburgh, so it's not like I was entirely surpised.

But seriously, that picture is going up on my wall next to the picture of Franzen punching Malkin in the end-of-game corner-scrum from last year. I think Malkin needs to stop trying to beat up vikings, because it's not working out for him very well at all.

Happy Groundhog Day

The Red Wings have lost their last 5 games (6 if you count the All Star game as a Red Wings loss, which I do, even though the standings don't). According to Bruce MacLeod, Hank's still out, Homer's still out, and now Meech is out. I think I'm having flashbacks to last February.

There are a lot of different approaches people take to hockey-related stress. Some of them turn to religion. Some of them turn to alcohol. Some of them turn to early trade rumors.

Today, I've turned to astrology.

I hold in my hands a genuine Meijer checkout line $2.49 Starscroll. Why have I purchased this? The same reason horoscopes are still printed in newspapers - sometimes you just want to see what they say. Apparently, I have no less than ten lucky love days this short month. Awesome!

How does this have anything to do with hockey? Even though he's not playing tonight, I share my sign with Henrik Zetterberg. Let's see what the fates hold in store for him today:

"What seems like a "no win" situation is apt to change quickly. Your careful handling of a $-matter or love tiff does the job. Your selflessness alters a penny-pincher's mood to create a good time this evening."

So if everything goes according to plan, the Red Wings should have a come-from-behind win against St. Louis tonight, and Hossa and/or Franzen will be inspired to take a massive pay cut to stay with the team. I hope it's right, because I can't get my money back if it isn't.

(Although, keep in mind that you're also reading Chris Pronger's horoscope. I don't know if I'd have pegged him as a Libra.)

Well something good had to come out of tonight

Read it. Read it now.

http://www.mlive.com/redwings/index.ssf/2009/01/red_wings_to_announce_henrik_z.html

All that panic for nothing....

So yesterday there was mass hysteria sweeping the internet regarding Hank and his contract. Helene St. James came to the rescue yet again:


"A CBC report, which did not cite any sources, claims “a 10-year, $75-million offer to Zetterberg has apparently been rejected.”

I asked Zetterberg about this today after the morning skate at Staples Center

“No,” Zetterberg said. “I haven’t turned down anything.”"


The rest of the article is at freep.com/redwings if you're interested.

Crisis averted.