Why Chicago Hates Detroit?

After what seems like an eternity (even though it was less than a week) the Red Wings have a game tonight against the Chicago Blackhawks. I have no idea who will be in the lineup because I never believe the speculations online until the game actually starts because Mike Babcock is a crazy fool and no one ever knows what the hell he's going to do next. I do know that Justin Abdelkader won't be there, due to the fact that he was sent back to Grand Rapids. *Insert angry comments from the general fanbase here*

Today I found a blog post where the writer made a list of all the reasons why Chicago hates Detroit. These always make me laugh and this one was no different. Here are the highlights:

10. The Octopus

Throwing octopus on the ice makes about as much sense as Detroit making a bid for the 2020 Olympics.

SERIOUSLY?! I would have thought that by now most people that follow the NHL would have at least grasped the general idea of this tradition by now. If not and you still need some help, go educate yourself. At any rate, we don't care if it "makes sense". We're gonna do it until the oceans run dry.

8. Consistency

While we hate to admit it, every Hawks fans would kill to have a franchise that's in contention for the Cup every single season.

This one actually makes sense.

6. They're...Good

There, we said it. But our Dad can still beat up your Dad. We'll be taking our puck and going home now.

This one he got right too. Except that I'm not really sure what he means by "our Dad can still beat up your Dad". I took it to mean the teams in the early days, and the last time I checked, 8 Stanley Cups are more than three.

4. Arrogance

The Red Wings walk around with the kind of swagger that would make Kanye West sick to his stomach with disgust.

Honestly, I haven't heard any arrogance horror stories about either team - except for maybe Chelios when he was in a bad mood, and that one... sort of falls on both of us. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with having confidence in your ability to be badass on the ice. I bet Blackhawks fans would kill themselves to have their team walk with swagger.

2. The Sweaters

Not to get all fashionista on you, but the Hawks sweater cannot be matched. Especially not by logo that looks like it's from Hot Wheels.

Right again. The Blackhawk's sweater can't be matched...in cultural insensitivity. (Oh wait, I forgot about Cleveland.) I'd much rather have a logo that looks like one of the greatest children's toys ever than one that's potentially racist.

1. Original Six

This rivalry is like a bad marriage that's lasted way too long with a spouse. What's worse is Detroit's put on about 200 pounds with a bad case of acne since the day we met.

Who's about 200 pounds with a bad case of acne?

Lol, he wishes he weighed 200 pounds...

Thursday randoms

A lot has happened today. The Red Wings sent seven players to the Griffins, Nicklas Lidstrom was named the best NHL player of the decade, I learned how to swear in Russian, Wayne Gretzky left the Coyotes, and Brad May got a Red Wings try-out.

Griffins first-
Travis Ehrhardt, Sergei Kolosov, Sebastien Piche, Jamie Tardif, Tomas Tatar, Francis Lemieux, and John Vigilante were all released from Detroit and rejoined Grand Rapids for their first practice Monday.

Also the Griffins are having fans pick another bobble head. Your options are:

- Head Coach Curt Fraser (bobble fists)
- Broadcaster Bob Kaser
- center Darren Helm
- goaltender Daniel Larsson
- Duke (Zamboni bobblehead)

Go vote. Trisha wants the Zamboni driver, but she's always had a strange fixation on Zambonis. I'm hoping for bobble fists. It just sounds silly.



And with that as our segue...

CBC's Battle of the Blades starts October 4th, and I'm pumped even though I won't be able to watch it. I will say that I'm a little worried, though, because if skanky Claude Lemieux (honestly the last person I'd ever want to see in spandex) lasts longer in the competition than Bob Probert, I might cry (unless it's because Skank Prime is actually a great figure skater, and then I'll just laugh, and imagine him going out for coffee with Johnny Weir).

Just in case you've been living under a rock, the US Olympic team had a photoshoot. Patrick Kane got violent.


Look out cab drivers of the world - this man has an icicle.

Odds and ends

We haven't updated in a while. It's not necissarily that news has been slow, it's that what news there is seems to either be focused on speculation over whether Patrick Kane actually beat up some guy over twenty cents, or forum arguments about whether the Red Wings Todd Bertuzzi experiement is really worth repeating (I'm willing to see how it plays out before I cast any judgement).

I heard from a friend of a friend that a blog was reporting that Elliot Friedman said that Aaron Downey's going to see if he can't be a Coyote next season, and you know what? - I'm pulling for him. I'll sure as hell miss him (so will an awful lot of Griffins fans), but it'd be good to see him back in a regular/semi-regular NHL lineup.

Puck Daddy posted an article about the new US Olympic men's ice hockey jerseys like... a week ago, but if you haven't already read it, it discusses this image, which I guess will be on the sleeves or something... I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I'm not exactly sure if it resonates any kind of patriotic vibe for me (and I can't get over thinking that thing at the top looks sort of like a swastika), but then again, the stories in the symbolism are kind of neat, and it's not like it's the ugliest thing the United States has ever used to represent itself.

The US's orientation camp this week, which from what I can gather, involved an awful lot of press releases, playing with small children, signing autographs, and taking embarrassing yearbook pictures in front of a varied set of studio backgrounds. I'm not sure whether my favorite is Old Glory, or Dramatically lit frosted glass blocks, which, I'm not gonna lie, sort of reminds me of the bathrooms at Van Andel Arena.

But you have to agree that Brian Rafalski is totally working it in that picture.

Game 5 crazyness

Today I got woken up early by my cell phone. It was a twitter update from Scott Oake telling me that Pavel and Nick didn't skate this morning. Not quite what I wanted to wake up to.

Game five was ridiculousness embodied. I was being drug around the Royal Ontario Museum instead of watching it, and I still haven't quite worked out all of what was going on, but in the aftermath, only two things really matter - the Red Wings won, and Johan Franzen is the most amazing person in the world:


Trisha and I have been wanting someone to do this for two years. Because seriously. Just keep the damn thing in your mouth.

The Wings are now one win away from meeting the Penguins again in another springtime battle to the death. Get ready for every other word from the announcers mouths to be "Marian Hossa".

I actually really liked him and Tyfus last year, and had a great time getting to watch them be Red Wings, even if both of them are elsewhere by July.

Damn is it gonna suck for them if the Wings make the finals but don't repeat.

Chicago... blegh

Tonight, on a very special episode of Hockeytown Static, we talk about a disease which has affected the lives of billions of innocent children worldwide – cooties.

Because today, the Wings begin a series with a team that has two of the most cooties-positive players in the entire NHL – Chris Versteeg and Patrick Kane.

Kane at least seems to have gotten his under control enough that at least they don’t show up on his face anymore. He may beat the disease yet. Versteeg sings Fergie songs on camera.

I’d run from either of them on the playground.

The Wings had a hard enough time not catching anything from Corey Perry and Rob Neidermayer the last seven games. (I know how old Rob Neidermayer is. I don’t care. I know cooties, and the man has them. He probably caught them from Corey.) Their immune systems are tired. Pavel hasn’t scored in a thousand years. Abdelkader is busy fighting off the last of his own cooties. I don’t know how long they can keep this up.

No, seriously though, I’m not looking forward to having to watch 4 to 7 Blackhawks games.
- Their team is gross
- Joel Quenville is a major tool
- I’m actually not kidding about Kane and Versteeg having cooties.
- Scottie Bowman told them all our secrets
- My mom thinks Nikolai Khabibulin is cute (THAT CONVERSATION WAS AWKWARD)
- Did I mention the cooties?

There hasn’t been a single game against them this season that didn’t make me want to throw up a little, even the ones the Wings won. I hope this series goes fast. And in the Wings’ favor.