So much for my denial-based sense of zen-like calm

I was back in Livonia this weekend, doing French homework (did you know that in French, "le mieux" tacked on to the end of a phrase means "the best"? Guess who's last name is no longer used in my household), and braving my parents' dial-up internet connection (I know) for one of my favorite parts of the All-Star festivities - AWKWARD STYLIZED PHOTOSHOOT PORTRAITS!! Last year we were treated to The Throne:

*insert Masterpiece Theatre theme here*

This year? Disembodied heads emerging from the void:

Nice hair, Stamkos

I'm not sure I want to imagine how creeptastic Datsyuk would have looked in this.

Which brings me to my actual topic - the ASG dropout suspension. I haven't really read anyone else's opinion on this. I probably won't. I'm trying to maintain my denial-based sense of zen-like calm surrounding the entire issue. This is how I get through finals week coinciding with the playoffs. But I digress...

If Sidney Crosby wants to show up to the All Star game broken to have his picture taken and reinforce his role as head tool of the NHL media, more power to him. But keep in mind that unless he's living a secret double-life, there's something Pavel and Nick both have that he lacks.

No, the answer is not "mad skillz", nor is it "Stanley Cup rings", although I'm thinking a lot of people reading this might try to argue one or both.

I'm not BFFs with any of the Red Wings, and for all I know, the whole team spent the all star break doing drugs with hookers in Bermuda - but between the two of them, Nick and Pavel have two wives and five children - families, families who don't get to see them everyday because they spend a third of the season in another time zone. The fact that Crosby lives the sad, isolated life of the deified superstar shouldn't really be held against the Red Wings.

So, Gary, if you want to punish two of the best players in the league for preferring to spend time with their kids rather than showing up to your media circus to get their toenails painted up in the Bell Centre press box with Sidney Crosby and his dad, I guess that's your prerogative.

Since Columbus isn't fast approaching us in the division, ahead of us in the league, historically apt to break our players' faces, or going to stir up bad memories of playoff series past (nor have they been beating us this season), there's no real sense of honor at stake in this game. Only 2 points - 2 points I'm not crazy about having to watch my team struggle so hard for - but 2 points I daresay the Red Wings can, just this once, afford to lose, should they lose them. I'll be ok with this game. But the principles involved still make me more than a little outraged.

Have fun with your power-trip, Gary. I hope it makes you feel as tall as you thought it would. Just be careful - if you do, in fact, manage to successfully run the league into the ground, you'll have to find some other way to get that giddy, all-powerful feeling you get when you screw over the Red Wings.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash again. It's been a whole day since I agreed with Pierre McGuire, but I still feel unclean.