Friday, March 19, 2010

I bet the Detroit Purple Gang would win sixteen Stanley Cups in a row

In the last week, the Red Wings have managed to climb their way back into the playoffs, and I've noticed my mood has been raising along with the Wing's point total. I'm not really surprised.

As everyone's favorite Brazilian tweeted Thursday night, a very bad thing has taken place. PuckDrawn held a contest for readers to submit "rebranded" jerseys. Doesn't sound like a very big deal? Well then, you clearly haven't witnessed the Detriot Pegasus (yes, DetRIOT. Clever):



Or the Detroit Purple Gang:

That is the most pimptastically awesome fedora I have ever seen, and if Detroit ever changes team names again, it should be to this, and Babcock has to wear one of those things every fricking game.

The Wings (still as the Wings, thank god) play Edmonton next. The Oiler's have this year's dubious distinction of being the first team to be statistically eliminated from the playoffs and I, never having played a team sport and being the spoiled rotten young Wings fan that I am, can only begin to imagine how that must affect the players who still have to play through the final fifteen games of the season knowing there can be no post-season.

And the Red Wings play them twice in the next week.

So the question is - will they, in their despair, lie down and give our team 4 easy points?

Or, having something to prove to the universe, will they proceed to CRUSH OUR DESPERATE HOPES AND DREAMS LIKE DELICATE GLASS FIGURINES IN THE PATH OF AN ANGRY STEAM ROLLER THAT IS ALSO ON FIRE BECAUSE I LIKE THE IMAGERY OF MAGICALLY BURNING CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT REPRESENTING THE WAYS IN WHICH HOCKEY CAN UPSET ME?

Um... Let's go Pegasi! Which is the plural of Pegasus. They should stay the Red Wings.

3 comments:

Rob said...

Gold as usual man

Rob R said...

If those Pegasus jerseys weren't replacing the most iconic jerseys in the NHL (suck it, Montreal) they wouldn't be awful. Not the black ones though. And Babcock should be given a pimp fedora to wear every game regardless of team/jersey situation.

T/L said...

I wholeheartedly agree with the Babcock-fedora suggestion.