Thursday, March 12, 2009

That was disgusting

It was more kinds of disgusting than I care to think about.

That was like it's your birthday, and you've told your parents all year you want a party at Chuck E. Cheese, but they never gave you a straight answer. You woke up this morning a little wary. By the time you got to the breakfast table, you were worried they didn't even remember your big day.

By lunch, it occurs to you that they're probably avoiding the topic on purpose, because they planned a surprise. You're so excited you can barely stand it.

By mid-afternoon, you've started to worry that there is no party after all. You feel like crying forever, but try to take it like a man. It's just a birthday. You get like 80 of them.

Then, just before dinner time, mom tells you to go put your coat on. Oh-boy! Here it comes! You get in the car, barely able to contain yourself. Speeding down the city streets, you spy the sign in the distance - there it is! That cool-looking mouse with the backwards baseball cap. Oh, you can smell the ball pit from here. Closer.... closer... your mom slows down as she approaches the parking lot entrance... THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME...

Then the car lurches the wrong way, pulls into the left turn lane, and turns into the parking lot in front of the dentist's office. You have six teeth drilled and the hygienist goes easy on the Novocaine. On the way back from the bathroom, you're attacked by ninjas, but your mom doesn't believe you and you're grounded a week for ripping your pants.

You go home. Your parents mistakenly thought it was your brother's birthday and gave him all your presents. Also, your dog died.

Pin this one on the defense, pin it on the goaltending, pin it on whatever the hell you want - at the end of the day, the Red Wings blew another lead, and they blew it fast, and they blew it hard.

I try not to dislike Calgary so much, but then nights like this happen. Cleary appears to be ok, but the night's sluttiness still roused my ire, however hard I was laughing at the sight of four Flames in the box while it happened. (I was laughing pretty hard.) Lindsay's irrational shin-kicking urge hasn't really subsided.

Someday, Jarome... someday...

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